Royal Pains
by QueenHimiko
Summary: Zelgadis' difficulties adjusting to a royal life after marrying Amelia come to a head when they try to have a baby. Set at roughly the same time as Slayers EXPECTING, but from Zel and Amelia's POV. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

AN: I do not own "The Slayers," I just play in the sandbox.

Also, this is one of those where I have a hard time figuring out a rating. It does deal with sexual matters, it goes with the topic, but I've tried to make it as non-graphic as possible.

* * *

Amelia tried hard to focus on the treaty, but her mind was so preoccupied on her next visitor that she simply could not make sense of the words. The door opened, and Amelia sat at attention, but relaxed a little when the page announced that it was her husband and showed him in. Zelgadis closed the door behind him and came up to her desk, "Did you get the memo?" he asked.

Amelia nodded as her heart raced, "Yes."

"Did he mention anything?"

"Just that there was a breakthrough. Do you think…"

"We shouldn't get our hopes up." He said as he looked at the desk.

"Always the pessimist." She chided as she stroked his cheek.

His eyes set, "I'd better sound proof the room."

Amelia sighed, "I suppose you're right."

She watched quietly as Zelgadis casted the spells he felt he needed to to ensure their privacy. Considering that the palace had ears everywhere it was likely a good precaution, but Amelia knew better than to put all of her trust in such spells. Besides, if rumor got out that she and Zelgadis were using sound proofing spells, then the subjects would start conjecturing about corruption and wondering what they were hiding. She'd tried to explain it to him, but going from commoner to Duke had been a difficult enough transition for him. So she chose her battles carefully.

Just as he finished there was a knock at the door, and Zelgadis went to stand behind Amelia as the page opened the door and announced, "Manus Koff."

"Thank you, Kurt." Amelia addressed the page, "Please make sure we are not disturbed." The page closed the door and Amelia looked at their visitor, "Please have a seat, Mr. Koff." Amelia said as she indicated the chair on the other side of the desk. Manus Koff, a middle aged man with the dark close cropped hair and dressed in the robes of a healer, sat. "Is there anything I can get you?"

Zelgadis internally groaned as Amelia went through the social niceties of offering tea and cookies. The little formalities of royal life were driving him insane. From having servants announce his arrival everywhere he went, including and especially when it was such a personal matter as seeing his wife, to having to dance around hospitality when all he really wanted was to go into interrogation mode.

Finally Manus Koff was contented with tea and cookies, and Amelia at last got to the heart of the matter, "You mention there has been a breakthrough."

"There has." Manus Koff said as took his time sipping his tea. Amelia and Zelgadis watched the head researcher they had tasked with the project of finding a way to make Zelgadis fertile despite his chimeraism and hoped that their desperation didn't show too plainly on their features. "We discovered a serum that allowed the chimeras we had confiscated from the raid on Allenly to reproduce."

Amelia put her hands over her mouth as Zelgadis clutched her shoulder as Manus Koff continued, "We're sure it's safe, and I have a vial with me. Your husband can start taking it immediately."

"I'd like to see a copy of the research," Zelgadis said.

"I suspected you would." Manus Koff said as he reached into his robes and pulled out a stack of papers and gave it to him. He then pulled a bottle of green liquid from his robes and set it on the desk. "Take it daily. Remember, it takes about a year for most couples to conceive."

Amelia nodded as Zelgadis asked some more questions about the serum but Amelia tuned it out as she started thanking Ceiphied and whoever else had gotten them to this point. Her marriage to Zelgadis had been controversial on many points, but as Gracia was married and producing children, and with her father's support, Amelia had fought and won the right to marry who she loved. And while on an intellectual level she had accepted that they could not have children of their own, emotionally it became more difficult as their friends settled down and started having babies. And then Zelgadis himself surprised her by admitting that he wanted one as well.

So Amelia had hired a set of researchers in secret to make it possible. And now, after two years, it seemed their efforts were finally bearing fruit.

"I must add a word of caution."

"Oh?" Amelia asked.

"It's rather embarrassing really." Manus Koff said, "There have been some personnel problems. One of the junior researchers, Rosalinda Franks, starting pursuing some unsavory lines of research."

Amelia's eyebrows raised, "What do you mean?"

"She wanted to create her own chimeras rather than using the ones confiscated from more unscrupulous researchers." Manus Koff explained, and Amelia felt her shoulder ached as Zelgadis clenched his fist around it. "We promptly sacked her, and she has since taken to spreading rumors about us."

"I see." Amelia said, "How horrible. I'll make sure she's banned from the palace and block any further funding for her endeavors that Seyruun is providing."

"I'll also address this with the Guild." Zelgadis added.

"Thank you." Manus Koff said.

"Thank you for bringing this to our attention." Amelia replied.

Zelgadis was amazed at Amelia's newfound ability to remained composed. He was ready to start yelling. He resented being kept from the actual research, even as he understood why it had to be the way it was. His quest for his cure had lead him down a dangerous, destructive road, and he had nearly killed a town full of innocents to obtain it. After Amelia and the others had stopped him and he looked at horror at what he had nearly done, he and Amelia had agreed that the best thing to do would be to give up looking for his cure and for him to marry her and find a place for himself in royal society. And while he had never come close to harming innocents again, integrating wasn't as easy as he thought it would be, and letting others carry the torch of research that was extremely personal bothered him.

For one thing he was sure he could do the research better. For another thing procreation was supposed to be a very private act between two people. But as he was infertile, he was having to invite a whole team of researchers into the equation. And even though Amelia swore that the threats she made of banishment would keep the team from blabbing, he was never comfortable with it.

But if, at the end of the day, it resulted in a child that was theirs, it would be worth it.

"Is there anything else, Mr. Koff?" Amelia asked.

"That's it. I will continue to keep you informed of any new developments. Please do the same for me."

"Thank you." She said as she clasped his hand and shook it.

"Of course. I look forward to hearing about your impending arrival in the near future."

Amelia smiled, "Let me show you out."

She walked him to the door and then closed it behind her, and then turned and ran into Zelgadis' arms, laughing. "You know, I still don't like having other people research this." Zelgadis said, "But if it works out, it will all be worth it."

Amelia didn't want to get dragged into the old fight with him, so she kissed him instead. She realized it was the right move when he broke the kiss to whisper in her ear, "Should we do it here, in your office?"

Amelia grinned. He was usually so prudish that getting him to think outside of the bedroom was next to impossible. "It's not the right time for me to conceive right now, you know." She said, "Perhaps we should save it for next week."

But he was already unbuttoning the back of her dress, "Come on Amelia. It's not as if we can over practice for this."

She grinned, blissfully unaware that it would be the last time in a long while that she would feel so desired.

* * *

"It's another boy." Sylphiel announced cheerfully as she placed the squalling infant on Gracia's stomach.

Amelia watched as her sister made a face, "I guess there won't be a little princess then."

Amelia smiled a little as she started to towel off her new nephew. The position of first granddaughter for her father was still open, even if she wouldn't technically be a princess. Gracia considered the infant, still looking displeased, and Amelia wanted to slap her as she asked, "Do you know how much work boys are? Always destroying everything!"

"That's because you never tell them 'no.'" Charles, Gracia's husband said, "Hey little guy! I'm happy to have you on my team."

The baby yawned and Gracia smiled a little as she seemed to melt, "Lucky for him he's cute."

"What are you going to call him?" Amelia asked as Sylphiel continued to heal Gracia.

"Edmund Edward Eldoran." Gracia said, "Eddie for short."

Amelia patted her shoulder, "I'll go make the announcement."

Amelia practically bounced through the hallways as she made her way to the dining area. It was late enough in the morning that most everyone would probably be there having breakfast. She would announce her new nephew, and then hopefully in a few weeks (if that) have her own announcement!

She was tired and her breasts were sore. She was even a day late, though it hadn't affected her powers (yet). Amelia was certain that the serum had done its trick. All she had to do was somehow keep her mouth shut until it was confirmed.

She walked into the dining hall and found that she was correct. Her father was sitting next to her two older nephews, Sean and Travis, as he told them stories while Lina and Gourry fought over breakfast while Zelgadis did his best the ignore them.

"I, Amelia Wil Tesla Seyruun, am pleased to announce the arrival of Seyruun's newest prince, Edmund Edward Eldoran Seyruun!" Amelia said with flourish as she walked in.

Phil was completely unfazed about the gender as he let out an exclamation of excitement as he grabbed the three people nearest him, which happened to be his two grandsons and Zelgadis, and wrapped them into a giant bear hug.

"Congrats!" Lina and Gourry offered as they tore themselves away from their food for a brief moment before diving back into their pancakes.

Amelia smiled a little as she walked up to her father, who continued to hold Zelgadis tightly as he did a happy dance with his grandsons. "Daddy, I think it's too early in the morning for Zel to dance."

"Oh!" Phil said as he let go of his son-in-law, "Sorry. I just got carried away!"

"For the record," Zelgadis said through clenched teeth as he sat down further away from Phil, "It is always too early for me to dance."

Lina chuckled as she looked up from her pancakes, "Don't take it too personally, Phil, he's always been a stick in the mud."

"Lina…" Zelgadis hissed.

"I mean come on, it's not every day someone gets a new grandson!" Gourry chimed in.

"Then you dance with him, Gourry!" Zelgadis snapped, and to Amelia's concern, he looked ready to explode.

Amelia hastily cut in, "I think in about another half hour they'll be ready for visitors. So let's finish up here so we can meet the new little prince."

* * *

"Isn't he just gorgeous!" Amelia gushed as she walked with Zelgadis into their private apartments.

"Yes, and we've already established that fact." Zelgadis said wearily as he dropped down onto a couch.

Amelia groaned to herself as she braced herself for an argument, "What is it then?"

Zelgadis' fingers clenched around the armrests and then he spit it out, "How many times do I have to endured being bear hugged by that…that…"

"You mean my daddy?" Amelia finished for him curtly.

"I can't deal with it, Amelia."

"It's not every day you get a new grandchild!"

"It's not only on days when he gets a new grandchild that he does it!" Zelgadis countered.

Amelia folded her arms across her chest and said haughtily, "Well you're family now. It just means that he likes you. You shouldn't be so standoffish all the time."

"Fine, take his side." Zelgadis said.

"Oh!" Amelia fumed, "This isn't about sides!"

"I don't like people grabbing me and hugging me!" Zelgadis insisted, "And I have made it clear, multiple times! To you and to him!"

"Well, what do you want me to do about it?"

"Not say a thing when I hit him with a Mono Volt next time?"

"Mr. Zelgadis!" she said, lapsing back into her formal way of addressing him.

"Could we just get away from court for a while? Take advantage of that palace in Tealblu we have but never use?"

"I want to be here when Eddie is still so small and cute. Besides, Miss Lina and Mr. Gourry are here, and there's still so much to do."

"Can we go when they go home to Zefiel City then?" he asked, "It's not too much to ask. Everyone else takes a break from this damned palace and the annoying people in it!"

"This damned palace is my home and the annoying people in it are my family!" Amelia shot back.

"Well they're all driving me crazy! Once Lina and Gourry leave I'm going to Tealblu, with or without you." Zelgadis said.

Amelia sighed as she slouched forward, "Perhaps a break is what we need."

He was silent for a moment, and then he tersely said, "Thank you." He got up and went to the door.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"For a walk."

Amelia sighed as she stared out of the window as he left, and wondered if marrying him had been the correct decision. She had once thought that all obstacles could be overcome with enough love. She'd thought that her family being warm and accepting to Zelgadis would melt his ice heart and help him appreciate open displays of affection. But somehow he was becoming more resentful of her family.

And now they might be having a baby together.

Amelia put her hand on her stomach. She'd always assumed Zelgadis was the way he was because of what Rezo had done to him. But what if he had always been that way? And what if they had a child that was like him and didn't like the bear hugs and noise and intrigue of royal life?

It appeared that she had been foolish to think that she could turn him into a royal. Perhaps it had even been cruel of her. But even if he couldn't bear to continue under the obligations of the royal court, could they find a way to make their marriage work?

* * *

Amelia set the beaker on the window sill and waited. While her powers remained strong her time of the month had not arrived, a novelty for Amelia. She decided there was no harm in checking to see if she was pregnant. Yet nothing happened. The fluid did not change color to blue, which would have indicated a pregnancy. It remained clear as ever.

Amelia tried to not feel deflated as she emptied the beaker into the toilet. Perhaps she had miscalculated the days and it was still too early. It was too soon to give up hope.

But two days later she woke to find that her monthly visitor had arrived. She did her best to console herself with the fact that it did take time. While Gracia bragged about being able to get pregnant very easily, it didn't mean that she would be as fertile as her sister. Assuming there wasn't a problem on her end.

Amelia tried to quiet her anxiety as she went about her day. Little did she know it would start a new monthly routine in her life. Crippling disappointment when her monthly visitor would arrive, followed by hope during her fertile time that would rise to a crescendo every time she was late and exhibited at least one nebulous pregnancy symptom and then back to crushing disappointment at the first speck of red.

After several months of trying and after her period starting that morning, Amelia was further sidelined at dinner when Lina asked Phil why Sylphiel and her family weren't there and Phil announced that his royal physician was once again pregnant.

"Damn, how many kids is she going to pop out?" Lina exclaimed.

Privately Amelia was thinking the same thing, but she merely put her fork down as she felt her apetite vanish.

Phil frowned, "Four kids is not that many. If my wife had lived we would have had seven. You can never have too many champions in the world! Speaking of which, when are you planning to get around to starting a family?"

Lina stiffened as a sweatdrop formed on her brow as she stuttered while Phil continued, "You've been married for a few years now, and you're not getting any younger. You're much older than me when I had Gracia…"

Amelia quietly excused herself and turned to find Zelgadis was doing the same. For once Phil was so wrapped up in lecturing Lina and Gourry about their lack of haste to procreate that he seemed to be immune to the fact that his daughter and son-in-law were leaving dinner early.

As soon as they were in the hallway and out of earshot Amelia said quietly, "He didn't even bother to ask us."

"He knows I can't…"

"We can't." Amelia corrected.

"The problem is with me, Amelia. If you hadn't have married me…"

"Don't finish that sentence." She snapped.

He was quiet for a moment before he stated, "You know it's true."

* * *

"If you don't mind me asking, how many are you planning to have?" Gourry asked Sylphiel's husband, Rick, as they sat in Rick and Sylphiel's living room after dinner. Sylphiel's morning sickness had abated enough that she felt she could throw Lina and Gourry a good-bye dinner before they headed off to Zefiel City in the morning.

"As many as we can." Rick said proudly, "We love having a house ringing with noise and laughter."

Zelgadis wondered if there was a way to excuse himself from the conversation. He and Amelia had been at it for close to six months now, and nothing. Worse, the pressure had been getting to him, and he was now having difficulties performing. Problems that Rick obviously had no issue with.

"I think I'd like that." Gourry said, "But then when you have so many it's hard to spend as much time with each of them as you'd like. I mean, if there's only one or two I'd get to spend a lot of time one on one with them, but they would grow up and be gone so fast, right? But if we have five or six there would always be children around, but I wouldn't have as much time to spend with each of them."

"Somehow I don't see Lina agreeing to six." Zelgadis said. He wondered if his aggravation was showing. Right now he would be content with just one. Thinking in terms of five or six was out of the question.

"Well, we've not had one yet, so she doesn't know if she'd like a lot or just a few, does she?"

"Have you even talked to her about it?"

"You know Lina and me." Gourry said.

Rick laughed, "Yeah, you two never plan anything out."

"Well, Lina doesn't. I do think about it. Especially with the Blast Sword, since it's our only heirloom. With one kid we won't have to worry about arguments, but with more than one…"

"Even with that, Syl and I would love to have an heirloom to pass on to our families. Everything of value we owned was destroyed by Copy Rezo." Rick leaned back in his chair, "If you don't mind my asking, when are you and Lina going to have one?"

Gourry shrugged, "When Lina's ready."

"But she's thirty now! If you're not careful it will be a matter of biology, not choice."

Zelgadis bit his lip. Considering how miserable trying to have a baby was making him and Amelia he wondered if he should say something to Gourry. But that would also mean telling him everything, something he was not ready to do.

"It will happen when it happens." Gourry said, sounding a bit terser than usual. Was the swordsman not as patient as he claimed to be?

"If you don't mind my asking, are you even trying?" Rick asked.

"Well, it's not that we aren't trying, we're just seeing what happens. That way there's no pressure."

Zelgadis felt a little worse. The fact that Lina and Gourry had held out against the baby bug was a source of solace and comfort. He and Amelia could always hang out with them when they were in Seyruun when they needed some time away from people who were obsessed with their growing families. But if Lina and Gourry's time without children was short, then that was in jeopardy.

"How does Lina feel about it?" Zelgadis asked.

Gourry smiled, "Why don't you ask her yourself?"

Zelgadis could never imagine doing that, and he felt Gourry knew that as well and was dodging the question. At that moment the women came in from the dining room and Lina went to stand behind her husband and kissed him on the crown of his head, "Hey, we've got to get going. Early start tomorrow." She said. "And Sylphiel is too polite to say anything, but she's going to be up with those babies tomorrow and she's growing a new one, so we should let her have her rest."

"It's no trouble." Sylphiel protested, "It will be six months until we see you again."

"We'd better get going as well, then." Zelgadis said, happy that it was over.

They said their good byes to Rick and Sylphiel. "Don't pop this one out until we get back up here to see him!" Lina warned Sylphiel as they started on the road to the palace.

"I'll do my best, but it'll be cutting it close. No promises!" she replied.

Lina chuckled to herself as Gourry wrapped an arm around her as they walked, making Zelgadis rather aware of the distance between Amelia and himself. But he simply could never summon the courage to be so openly affectionate in public. At first Amelia had attempted to snuggle or hold hands, but he always pulled away. Now she didn't bother to try anymore. And while usually she watched Lina and Gourry's displays of affection with the zeal of a devoted fan, tonight he noticed there was a pained gleam in her eyes.

It made him feel even more inadequate.

While he could hold his own on the diplomatic duties his position as her husband required, she was well aware of the fact that it was making him miserable. And he tried his best, but he simply could not tolerate Gracia and Phil that well. Of her family members Christopher was the one he got along with best. And to top it all off, he couldn't express his love for her in the way she desired, partly out of fear of inciting a riot when the citizens saw a chimera dare to touch their beloved princess, partly out of his own shyness. And now he couldn't give her the children that she wanted.

And while he loved her more than anything, he wondered if it was foolhardy of them to have a go at this. Somehow everything that made them work together on the road fell apart when confronted with the reality of Amelia's life and her royal station. At the end of the day he was simply a freak who couldn't be what she needed.

Soon they passed the palace gates, and stopped to face each other. "See you in six months." Lina said.

Amelia hugged her, "Have a safe trip! Write to me!"

"You bet!" Lina said, "And enjoy your break at Tealblu!"


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Warning: This will be the most graphic of the chapters in terms of depicting infertility and sex.**

* * *

Amelia sighed with happiness as she threw open the window shutters and took in the view of the lake. "I'm so glad you suggested Tealblu! We did need to get away. I forgot how beautiful it is here!"

Zelgadis smiled as he stretched out on the couch as Amelia dismissed the maid and started to sort through her belongings as she hummed to herself. _Wife is humming, so that means she is happy, so everything is good._ He thought to himself, feeling more content than he had in a while as he thought that there were benefits to marrying a royal.

Private, luxurious castles filled with tasteful art and décor. Not to mention comfortable furniture. Servants who knew how the keep the castles running so that it was as if they cleaned themselves and provided delicious delicacies on their own. High living away from all of the stress of court and wonderful, boundless privacy. He often felt that if he and Amelia spent all of their time at Tealblu them all of their problems would vanish.

"Cook is preparing lunch, and after we eat I was thinking that we could swim in the lake for a little bit until dinner." Amelia said.

"Sounds good." Zelgadis said as he cushioned his head on his arms and entertained the thought of catching a little nap before lunch.

But Amelia had other ideas as she looked at him for a moment and then smiled wickedly. "Turn over." She said.

"Huh?" he asked.

"Someone needs to relax." She said playfully.

He grinned and did as asked so he was lying on the couch on his stomach.

"Take off your shirt." She continued.

He teasingly replied, "You should have asked me to do that before I rolled over."

"Well I'm asking now." She replied as she put her hands on her hips. "And I'm the princess, so you have to do what I say." She added with a smirk.

"Well, when you put it like that, I guess I'd better just do what you ask." He said as he removed his shirt.

Once he was resting on the couch again, Amelia got behind him and started to massage his back, "You are tense!" she observed.

"Good thing I have you here to help." He replied, as he relished in the fact that they weren't even arguing. Indeed, time away from court was working its usual magic!

Amelia smiled as she worked on relaxing the knots in his back. Once she had gotten them out and he felt as though his troubles were a lifetime away, she started to trace kisses down his spine, enjoying how he moaned in response. By the time she got down to the base of his spine, Zelgadis felt himself responding in ways he hadn't been able to since the first month they tried and failed to conceive a child together. That failure had sent him on a downward spiral where he started having difficulties staying aroused, and the longer they went without conceiving a child, the worse it became.

But he was having no difficulties now! Coming to Tealblu, and away from the stress and pressures of the court, was acting like an aphrodisiac. There were no nobles trying to figure out his every move, no whispering gossips spreading rumors and falsehoods. He could simply enjoy being with Amelia. And he was currently enjoying himself so much that continuing to lie face down on his stomach was creating a bit too much pressure in a certain region. Slowly he flipped around so he could grab Amelia and so he could kiss her passionately as he moved his hands under her top to fool around with her soft, generous breasts, before he removed her shirt completely.

Amelia gasped, her excitement climbing as she felt how he desired her. Even better, it was during the right time of her cycle, a time he had been abysmal at maintaining the arousal needed to perform the task since their first month ended with nothing to show for it. It was going to happen this month, she was sure of it! It had to!

Barely conscious of that she was speaking out loud she murmured, "It will happen tonight! I can sense it!"

"What?" Zelgadis asked.

"Oh, it's just that everything is aligning perfectly." She said as she started nibbling at his ear, "It's my fertile time."

She regretted it as soon as she said it. The change in him was instantaneous as she felt his body grow tense where he should have been relaxed, and relaxed where he should have been tense, "Dammit, Amelia, why did you have to say anything?"

Amelia flushed, "You could try a little harder! I mean after all that work I put in…"

"So now turning me on is a job?" he snapped.

"Well I don't see you putting a lot of effort into this!" she retorted. "I'm having to chart everything, plan our rendezvous, research spells to try when I've exhausted every other trick and you _still_ can't stay aroused long enough…"

"So you think this is some kind of cake walk for me?"

Amelia scowled, "I'm just saying you could try harder!"

"What's the point? Once it's gone, it's gone." Zelgadis said as he turned away from her.

They both shut up as soon as they heard someone knocking on the door. A second later the maid opened it, "Princess Amelia, you wanted me to let you know when lunch was ready."

Zelgadis turned purple with embarrassment. Both of them were shirtless and it was obvious they had been fooling around. And while the walls were thick, Zelgadis couldn't help but wonder if they'd been overheard. Amelia, on the other hand, took such intrusions into her personal life with stride. She'd spent her life being dressed by maids and was used to the sparse privacy that being a royal afforded.

"Thank you, Mary." She said without even bothering to cover her chest, "We'll be down shortly."

As soon as Mary closed the door Zelgadis looked at Amelia in horror. "Do you think she…?"

"Oh grow up. She knows we're married." Amelia said as she morosely put her shirt back on.

"But do you think she knows?"

"How am I supposed to know what she knows?" Amelia snapped. "Ready for lunch?"

"No." Zelgadis said.

Amelia sighed, and walked up behind him, "Please have lunch with me." He was silent. She hugged him from behind and rested her cheek upon his back, "Please. Let's just focus on reconnecting right now. Away from the court, away from family and friends and vicious diplomats. Let's just even forget having a baby right now. Let's just focus on feeling our love again."

Zelgadis sighed and squeezed her arms, "Well, when you put it like that..."

Amelia smiled in relief as he moved to put his shirt back on and then together they went down for lunch.

* * *

"Who was at the door?" Amelia asked as Mary walked into the dining hall.

"The postman. There's a letter for you." The maid replied.

Zelgadis cut into his steak as Amelia took the letter and opened it. "Who's it from?" he asked as he took a bite. When Amelia didn't answer, he looked up from his food and saw that she was grasping the letter tightly with her cheeks flushed a bit as flames burned in her eyes. "Amelia?"

"The nerve of her!" Amelia hissed.

"Who?" Zelgadis asked as he took the letter from her.

It read, "Dear Princess Amelia, I have some important information for you regarding your research efforts and the serum. Please see me tonight West Street Bar. Regards, Rosalinda Franks."

Zelgadis exhaled, got up and threw the letter in the fire. He then rested his head against the fireplace mantle as hatred coursed through him for Rezo, Rosalinda Franks, Halciform, and every other researcher who dabbled in chimera research. "Well, we know where we won't be going tonight." Zelgadis said.

Amelia picked up her glass but simply stared at the way the light refracted through the liquid. "You know that justice demands that I go, hear her out, and figure out what sort of conspiracy she is planning." She was silent for a moment, "And threaten her with banishment or worse if she continues in her wicked ways."

Zelgadis punched the wall. "Dammit, I was wanting to get away from all of the intrigue!"

Amelia's eyes widened and she sighed, "You're right."

He turned to look at her, "Huh?"

"This is our time. So we're not going to let people drag the worries of the life at court here. We're just going to have a wonderful time, and focus on that."

"But what if…"

"If she's not blabbed to the whole court thus far, I doubt she will now." Amelia said.

"But what about justice?" he asked.

Amelia smiled tiredly, "Justice is on a needed holiday."

Zelgadis walked back to the table as something niggled at the back of his mind. Something wasn't adding up. Why would a disgraced researcher reach out to them? Especially considering what she was researching. He debated going to the bar to hear what Rosalinda Franks had to say as he reached out and grabbed Amelia's hand and squeezed it. "Love you." He said.

* * *

 _Just finish._ Amelia repeated to herself over and over again. _Now. Just finish. Before you lose it again!_

Their day by the lake had gone splendidly. By dinner they had even managed to forget the unpleasantness that Rosalinda Frank's letter brought to their afternoon. And they had even been able to rekindle the passion they had ignited before lunch. Only now that things had gone well for so long, Amelia was terrified that his arousal problems would resurface and kill the evening at the last minute.

Suddenly he stopped, but it wasn't because he was spasming in pleasure. He took a deep, ragged breath and rolled off her, and Amelia found herself swallowing a scream as he continued to roll to the far-flung reaches of their bed. And given the size of the bed, the distance was considerable. Insurmountable even. Her hands clenched into fists and her fingernails bit into her palms as she bit her tongue. She'd better not say anything, she'd better…But then a wave of anger tore through her and she found herself screaming.

"Zel, it has to be tonight!"

"Well I thought we were just focusing on our love!" he shot back as he stayed facing away from her, his voice sounding ragged.

"I was hoping if I could keep the pressure off you then you could do your duty!"

"So now fucking my wife is a duty."

"Do you know how angry I feel when you say it like that!?"

Zelgadis threw his fist out and punched the nightstand, "Dammit, Amelia, I…damn, this is embarrassing."

Amelia fumed, "Well how do you think I feel?"

"I can't do this anymore." He sat on the edge of the bed and continued to face away from her as he gathered his clothing. Amelia closed her eyes as she tried not to cry.

"Just…just stop focusing on the end goal so much. Remember it takes healthy couples a year sometimes and…" she bit her lip as he stiffened.

"And since I'm not so healthy we should expect to be doing this for some time."

"I didn't mean…"

"I know what you meant." He hissed as he got up.

"Zel, please. We can't just give up!" she pleaded.

"I'm going to take a walk. We'll try again when I get back." He said.

"Why don't you just come out and say how much you aren't looking forward to it!" Amelia screamed as he walked out of the room. She fell back on the mattress and started to cry as she looked at the ceiling and wondered how it was that trying to have a baby killed all of the fun out of sex and turned it into a dreaded chore.

With a sigh she dried her eyes and got up, put on her robe and went to her desk and she pulled out her journal. It contained detailed calendars with information on her cycles and days that she and Zelgadis were intimate. And, she reflected, according to the data she'd amassed there was no way to tell if the fact that their attempts had been fruitless was because the medicine wasn't working or if it was because they were missing her fertile window. Aside from that first month, Zelgadis' new found arousal issues had prevented them from hitting the target.

The arousal issues which were now turning her life into a living hell. While Amelia had been satisfied with their sex life before they started trying to procreate, it was a completely different story now. Amelia tried every spell she knew to help him keep it up, but it seemed as though his anxiety was stronger.

Yet, even if they were somehow hitting the window, it still didn't rule out the third probability, that she herself had a fertility problem that was undiscovered because they had assumed the problem was solely with Zelgadis.

The last thought chilled her. But she was nervous about asking another healer to check her out. When you're royalty, people you think you can trust tend to let you down when you learn how easily they can be bought. And that she was having fertility issues was not news she wanted circulated around the public. She was already nervous about having so many researchers on retainer for Zelgadis, even though she had ways to ruin the careers of anyone who spilled the secret. Still. The more people she let in on the secret, the harder it was to keep. She knew from experience how secrets tend to spill the harder people try to keep them.

With a sigh she decided to run some tests on herself as best she could. It would kill time at least. By the time Zelgadis returned she was mostly sure that there was no issue on her end. She wasn't going to tell him, though. He was taking it hard enough that he couldn't get her pregnant, and even worse now that he couldn't even get it up. And while she couldn't blame him for the former, it was hard for her not to get offended at the latter.

They tried again, but she was so frustrated that her attempts to help him relax were impeded by the anger she could not conceal, which only made it worse, and they quickly gave it up as a lost cause. They tried to sleep on it, but when the morning came Amelia was certain her window of fertility was closed and any further attempts were too late. Still, Zelgadis was adamant to try. And while they succeeded, Amelia was certain nothing would result from it.

* * *

Amelia was right to conclude that nothing would result from their efforts. While most of their time at Tealblu passed in a pleasant manner, those few days each month when she was fertile were sheer hell. And as Amelia's latest fertile period arrived, so did a new plan. And a very simple one at that. All it involved was not telling Zelgadis that she was fertile.

"What are you reading?" Zelgadis asked as he sat down beside her on the sofa and wrapped an arm around her.

She snuggled up next to him as she replied, "A letter from Miss Lina."

"Anything interesting?" he asked as he glanced at the letter.

"Oh, the usual." Amelia said hesitantly.

She could not shake the feeling that there was something Lina was leaving out. For one thing while Lina's letters usually arrived weekly, this was the first time she had heard from Lina in a month! Lina had explained that she had been ill, but it was nothing serious, and she was getting better. Just some vomiting and fatigue. And Amelia knew the symptoms Lina described all too well. She kept feeling them herself, even though she wasn't pregnant. One time she had even thrown up and she was sure she and Zelgadis had finally had some success, but it must have just been wishful thinking manifesting in a painfully misguided manner. Meanwhile, Lina and Gourry had been wedded for a few years now. Had the baby bug finally bitten them?

"They'll be up again in two months." Amelia explained as she shook her head. Lina had never mentioned wanting a baby, and she was certain Lina would tell her. She must be overthinking things.

"It'll be good to see them." He said. "Especially with Sylphiel and Rick's expanding brood. It'll be nice to talk to someone who isn't jabbering about their kids all the time."

"Oh, I told my Sis it would be okay if she brought the boys over next week."

"Amelia!" he exclaimed.

"Please, Zel."

"This place, it's just supposed to be for the two of us."

"But my nephews aren't going to be this small forever! Come on, wouldn't it be fun to have the boys running about?"

Zelgadis sighed as he leaned forward. "It hurts too much to be around other people's kids."

"Well it'll probably be the closest thing I'll come to having one!" Amelia replied, "They're my nephews!"

"Fine, you spend time with them, I'll…"

"I'll never get an idea of what you would be as a father that way."

"They'll sense my resentment!"

"We shouldn't fight." Amelia said as she closed her eyes in annoyance that she'd even asked, "It's a sex night."

"Of course it's a sex night." He replied in that voice.

 _Crap!_ Amelia thought as she realized what she'd done. But it was too late to turn back now. "Don't say it like that!"

"Well it's not like it's something I look forward to!" he snapped, and then he grasped his forehead, "I didn't mean it like that."

Amelia felt her anger bubble over as she screamed, "I know what you meant!"

Zelgadis snarled, "I'm going for a walk."

"Fine." She said as she folded her arms across her chest as she mentally kicked herself. Why couldn't she have kept her mouth shut for once? Stupid, stupid, always blabbing and…

Mary walked in as Zelgadis was storming out, holding a letter in her hands, "It's for you, Princess."

 _At least this will distract me from my woes._ Amelia thought as she took it and dismissed Mary. It read, "Please contact me regarding the potion. Rosalinda Franks."

Beneath Rosalinda Franks' signature was an address. Amelia was too weary at the moment to consider what she wanted. Likely it was a trap. She pocketed the card and went into her chambers and wondered what to do. Their success of conceiving a child this month depended on her ability to get Zelgadis relaxed enough to complete the task, but she was feeling so depressed that she didn't have the inclination or the drive to do so. With a heavy heart she accepted that she would likely she wake in the morning with another window of fertility closed behind her.


	3. Chapter 3

"Princess Amelia," Mary said as she walked into the library.

Amelia looked up from her book, "Yes?"

"Manus Koff is here to see you."

"Oh," Amelia said, feeling surprised. She hadn't been expecting him. "Show him in. And if you see Zelgadis send him here as well."

"The strange thing is, Mr. Koff was very insistent on only seeing you, ma'am." Mary explained.

"Was he?" Amelia asked, not sure what to make of that. "Show him in. And if you see Zelgadis have him meet me here in a half hour."

"Yes, ma'am." Mary said, bowing before she left to retrieve the visitor.

Amelia decided there was no way she was going to be able to focus on swashbuckling pirates and fair maidens now and set her book down on the table as she started to pace nervously. Why would Manus Koff visit them? And why would he only want to see her? And what would she say when he asked about the effectiveness of the serum? And how could she even bring up the fact that Zelgadis was having performance issues that complicated the whole experiment? Zelgadis would be mortified if she confided that information to anyone.

In mere minutes Mary had returned with Manus Koff. "Please have a seat." Amelia said as she indicated one of the plump chairs, "Mary, close the door on your way out please."

"Yes, ma'am." Mary said as Amelia asked her guest how he would like his tea.

Once he was settled, Amelia decided to cut straight to the heart of the matter, "So what brings you here today?"

"Well, it should be obvious." He stated as he sipped his tea, "I was wanting to check on the status of the serum."

"Well," Amelia said nervously as she wondered how much information he would ask for and how much she should reveal, "It hasn't worked so far."

"I see," Manus Koff said as he sat his tea on the table. "I was afraid as much. Sometimes something that looks promising in the lab just fizzles when tried on more complex chimeras, and I'm sorry that seems to be the case here. Yet, we must not give up hope yet."

Amelia's heart fluttered, and she wasn't sure if it was with hope or anxiety. The thought of continuing to be in the trying to conceive limbo they had found themselves in was horrifying. But if it resulted in a child, then she knew she would pursue it. "What do you mean?"

Manus Koff looked over his shoulder, and then leaned in closer to her, keeping his voice low, "I am in possession of some life fluids from a soldier who died defending a town from bandits a few weeks ago. I could pass it onto you. No one but us would know who the real father is."

Amelia felt her face heat. Her first instinct was to scream and shout about the huge affront to justice he was proposing. As a noblewoman she could not risk using life fluids from someone who wasn't her husband. Her reputation had to be spotless. While Amelia was sure that some noblewomen had gotten away with it, others had gone up in flames when the donor or the donor's family accused her of infidelity. The scandalous cases always caused a commotion in court as people debated the woman's guilt or innocence. Had she had an extra-marital affair and was trying to save face now by claiming she just used life fluids, or had she just used life fluids and fallen prey to villains who wanted money or power and used that leverage to take her down? There was no way to know for sure. If Amelia used another man's life fluids she would be gambling with her good name. And in the royal court, having a good name was worth a lot. It was not something she could sacrifice.

But then….

But then, somehow, it seemed that if she tried this route then all of her problems would be solved. Sex would no longer be a chore. She would no longer argue with Zelgadis. She would have a child and a heir, something she wanted more deeply by the day. Committing a misdeed never looked more tempting.

Her reply was choked, and she looked at the table, at a loss for words.

"Think about it. I'll be in Dainsbro when you make up your mind." Manus Koff said.

Finally Amelia found her voice, "Did you really even think this serum would work?"

"It did on my test subjects." He said. "But considering the nature of chimeras, who is to say that what will work for a dog-rock golem hybrid will work for one who is human-golem-blow demon?"

"I see." She said quietly, and then she asked her next, more important question. "What's in it for you?"

"I have worked for years with human-chimeras, watching how they are excluded from society and living life to their fullest. Successfully helping one to breed, well, that will give my work and my cause visibility. More money will pour in, more than you can provide, Princess, and I can use that to fund my research on achieving my ultimate goal: separating chimeras."

Amelia wanted to believe him. But something in her gut was telling her not to.

"Do you have any other questions for me?" he asked.

"No." Amelia said, "I'll let you know when I've made my decision."

"Thank you." He said as he stood up, just as Zelgadis walked into the room.

"Manus Koff? He asked, obviously taken aback.

"Your wife was just filling me in on the status on the serum." Manus Koff said. Before Zelgadis could interject he continued, "Don't give up hope. Remember it takes a lot of people a year for it to work."

"Yes." Zelgadis answered.

"Good day."

Zelgadis watched wearily as the other man walked out and closed the door behind him before asking Amelia, "What was that about?"

Amelia felt as though she was going to cry at any moment. She looked at Zelgadis, and in that moment she realized that, while she might not know what she was going to do yet, she couldn't lie to him and play him for a fool, letting him think a child sired from a donor was his. That realization led to a more painful realization. That if Manus Koff really had the interests of chimeras at heart, he would have let Zelgadis in on the ploy rather than ask her to join him in a scheme to fool Zelgadis.

"Oh Zel!" she exclaimed as she threw her arms around him, "I-I think we put our trust in the wrong person."

She barely managed to get the words out before she dissolved into tears. "Amelia?" he asked as he rubbed her back. "What happened?"

It took her a few attempts, but eventually she calmed down enough to relate the deal that Manus Koff had made with her. When she finished Zelgadis' face was a stony mask of silence. She waited, tense as a taunt string, for him to say anything. Finally he said, "So for the last year we've been breaking our hearts as we humiliated ourselves over some snake oil he gave me to line his pockets and advance his own research?"

Amelia's stomach knotted. But before she could respond he got up and balled his hands into fists, "Surely he couldn't have gotten too far."

"Zel, no!" she said as she grabbed his hand.

"You shouldn't have let him leave this castle." Zelgadis snarled.

"What you have in mind is not a diplomatic solution!" she insisted.

"To hell with diplomacy!" Zelgadis snapped, "All year he's been laughing at me, toying with us, manipulating us as he laughs at my…"

"I have an idea!" Amelia snapped, "And justice will triumph! It's just going to take some time to get everything set up."

He regarded her, "What's your plan then?"

Amelia smiled a little, "First, I think it's time we hear Rosalinda Franks' side of the story."

* * *

Zelgadis vaguely remembered seeing Rosalinda Franks among the team of researchers when he met with them when Amelia first assembled them. As one of the junior researchers, he had not bothered to remember the name of the quiet young woman who seemed average in every way. Average height, average weight, familiar brown hair kept in the latest style. Only her small brown eyes framed with glasses were distinctive in any way, and that was only because the glasses were a distinctive cat eyed shape. But now that they were in her home and she was pouring them tea, he directed more attention to her than he ever had before.

"Here." She said as she handed them each a cup, and then drew back a flyaway strand of hair as they took them.

"Thank you." Amelia said while Zelgadis studied her and tried to determine if she was the evil scientist that Manus Koff had painted her as.

"Are you aware that Manus Koff accused you of wanting to create chimeras?" he asked her.

Rosalinda smiled weakly, "So that's how he turned you against me."

"So you're denying the accusation?" Amelia clarified.

"You're welcome to search my home and my journals." She said, "I assure you, I have no interest in creating chimeras."

"Then why would Mr. Koff say you did?"

"Because I was the one who synthesized the serum."

"So he wanted to steal the credit?" Amelia asked.

Rosalinda shook her head, "I'm a junior researcher, he's the head researcher. The credit would have gone to him regardless. However, because I was the one working most closely with the serum, I knew some things about it he likely neglected to tell you."

"Like?" Zelgadis asked.

"We had confiscated a group of chimeras that were part rock golem, part some other mammal. Dog, cat, lion, things of that nature. And the serum did return fertility to those subjects. However, when used on chimeras that were some combination of mammal and blow demon, or the rare combination of all three that we had, the results were not as exciting. Of the seven I tested, only one was able to sire a litter. Compared to eight out of eight with the mammal-rock demon combinations."

Zelgadis set his cup down while Amelia bit her lip. "But I went over the research. I had Manus Koff provide me a copy."

"That's where I came into trouble." Rosalinda explained. "I saw the report he was going to give you. I saw how he fudged the data and confronted him. He closed the office door and told me to think of the big picture. If the serum failed there were still other ways for the Princess to conceive a child, and if we got her involved and attributed the success to the serum, we would be famous. It would be a huge windfall in terms of marketing and research grants. He offered me a slice, but I stupidly refused. I should have deferred and gone straight to you, but I told him no. I thought I'd talked him out of it. I knew you would never go along with such a deception, Princess. I thought I'd convinced him.

"But when I went to work the next day I was barred from entering the castle. Koff had ordered the guards to turn me away on sight. He even had my mail intercepted. It wasn't until you arrived at Tealblu that I managed to get through to you, but only through a few letters. The guards at Tealblu wouldn't let me through, either. The other researchers won't talk to me now. I gather he dragged my reputation through the mud, though I wasn't sure how."

"Do you think any of the others were involved in the deception?" Amelia asked.

"No." Rosalinda said quickly, "I was the only one working on the serum. I don't think anyone else knew about the results."

"Is there anything else you have to tell us?" Zelgadis asked.

"I'm afraid not." She replied.

Zelgadis looked down at the table as he felt the weight of his sorrow bore into him. While he trusted Rosalinda's Franks' story, it also dealt a definitive end to his hopes of being able to father a child. His thoughts became so heavy that it took him a moment to realize Amelia was speaking, "…tell no one we spoke until I tell you otherwise. Are we clear?"

Zelgadis hoped that he hadn't missed anything important as Rosalinda replied, "Yes, Princess."

"Thank you for coming forward with this." Amelia said, obviously wrapping things up. Zelgadis stood up and together they left.

For a long time they walked in silence, their shock and grief too numbing for them to make any sort of conversation. But as they drew away from the crowded town and met the freedom of the country road that lead back to their castle, Amelia started to vent.

Zelgadis tuned her out at first. But gradually words that triggered a red hot anger within him punctuated his consciousness. Snake oil. Played for fools. Charlatan. Fiends of justice. Back at court, Zelgadis was certain Manus Koff was laughing at him and his troubles. Beside him, Amelia continued to rant about, "…disloyal subjects I've paid plenty of money to…"

"…Do what I could have done much better?" Zelgadis snapped.

"Oh no, not this again!" Amelia cried.

"If you had just let me head the research this never would have happened." Zelgadis pointed out angrily.

"Oh don't you dare turn this into an excuse to take it over!" Amelia said, "It will consume you and corrupt you!"

"But how can we really know what is going on there?" he asked. "For all we know Rosalinda Franks is also duping us. We can't trust this so called elite team of researchers you put together!"

Amelia pounded her fist into her palm, "We must leave immediately for court! Give them no time to prepare for us. We will audit the files, interrogate the team, find out who knew what, and sack and ruin the people who were in on the crime!"

Zelgadis considered what she said for a moment, "Actually, I agree."

Amelia relaxed a little, "I'll have Mary pack our things and send them to court. We'll leave immediately before word gets to Mr. Koff that we met with Miss Franks."

"But we'll talk later about what to do about the team. And my involvement in it."

Amelia's eyes narrowed as she realized that he had not let the larger matter drop completely, "Fine." She said.

* * *

Amelia and Zelgadis had reluctantly let Rick in on their plan to interrogate their team. Someone had to keep guard over the researchers while they waited to be questioned to ensure that they didn't talk to one another or that Manus Koff, who they had escorted to a private room separate but accessible only from the room where they housed the other researchers, could not escape. Rick was the only guard they trusted. If Rick had any suspicions about the nature of their research, he kept it to himself. As always, he was professional, discreet, and competent.

After reading the files and interviewing the other researchers, Zelgadis and Amelia both felt confident in Rosalinda Franks' version of events. And with the exception of one other researcher who had an inkling of Manus Koff's plan, they were as certain as they could be that the other researchers were innocent.

It was either late in the evening or early in the morning (depending on how you looked at it) when Amelia called an indigent Manus Koff into her office. Zelgadis stood behind her looking disapproving as the researcher took a seat.

"What is the meaning of this?" he spat.

Amelia's eyes narrowed as she handed him Rosalinda Franks' original research. "We had a discussion with Miss Franks." Amelia said as the blood drained from Manus Koff's face, "It was rather informative."

"Princess…" he said.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" Amelia asked.

"That this isn't what it looks like." Manus Koff said quickly.

"On the contrary, according to the evidence we've collected, it's exactly what it looks like." Zelgadis said.

"Manus Koff, you are hearby dismissed from this castle and funding for your research is to be cut. I will inform the other nobles, universities and hospitals that you are no longer welcome to conduct research within the borders of Seyruun."

Manus Koff's eyes widened, "I can help you, you know. No one would have known."

Zelgadis looked at Amelia as her eyes sparkled with indignation at his insolence as he waited for Amelia to drop her ace. Amelia had often quieted his concerns about people talking with the knowledge that she had a team dig up dirt on each member of the research team to blackmail them with. For someone who put a lot of stock in justice and purity, she sure seemed certain that everyone had skeletons in their closet.

"One more thing." Amelia said, "Does the name Emmalene Anjou mean anything to you?"

Manus Koff's eyes flashed as Amelia held out a letter. "Where did you get that?" he snarled.

"If you breath a word of the research you were conducting to anyone, or if you say anything that we find unflattering about us, we will see that your wife reads this letter to your darling Emmalene, of the fairest white bosom and the most succulent…"

"How dare you!" And Zelgadis had to smile a little as he watched the other man squirm like a worm on a hook. Amelia had indeed found pay dirt on the scoundrel.

"Tell me, how is your little boy, Alex?" Amelia asked, and Manus Koff's face turned crimson, "You only have daughters with your wife, Josefina, am I right?"

"This isn't the end of this!" Manus Koff barked as he stormed out of the office, the door slamming behind him.

Amelia laughed vindictively as Zelgadis looked at her worriedly, "You're not afraid that he won't make good on that threat?"

"He wouldn't dare. He married into wealth. And I know Josefina Koff. If he's not scared of what she would do to him if she knew about his infidelity than he's a greater fool than I pegged him for."

Zelgadis smiled a little and then he put an arm around her, "You know, it kind of turns me on seeing you mete out justice like this."

Amelia's eyes widened as her heart fluttered in her throat. She tried to keep her voice coy as she said, "Well, lucky for you, I don't have anything else on my calendar today."

* * *

"You two sure had a long sojourn at Tealblu." Gracia commented as Amelia sat on the couch with Eddie.

Eddie promptly jumped off Amelia's lap and went to chase his brothers. Amelia sighed. He was already big enough to walk, and he had no interest whatsoever in staying put on her lap. "Court life doesn't suit Zel." Amelia said, "I think if he wasn't so concerned with what people were saying behind his back it would be one thing, but he is."

"I must say, you've been throwing yourself into your work." Gracia observed as she ignored the fact that her boys were climbing up a glass paneled cabinet.

"I like to keep busy." Amelia said, leaving out the fact that it distracted her from how horrible the previous year had been, "Should they be climbing that?"

"Travis! Sean! Eddie!" her sister hollered, "Go to your room!"

They did as asked, giggling the whole time. Soon loud booming sounds could be heard through the thick walls. Amelia's anxiety crept up a notch as Gracia lamented, "Nanny is out sick today."

"Anyway, what's new around court?" Amelia asked.

Gracia started launching into the latest court gossip. Amelia listened carefully. Gossip was currency in the court, and it was important to stay on top of it. Nothing Gracia said was too interesting at first, until she mentioned Amelia's friend from Zefiel City, "Oh, and not new around here so much, by the ambassador to Zefeeria came home last week. She says that there are rumors that the infamous bandit killer and monster slayer is pregnant!"

Amelia nearly dropped her tea cup. "What?"

"Surprising, isn't it?"

"Surely there must be some mistake." Amelia said, "I mean Miss Lina is arriving next week! I mean, she wouldn't travel while pregnant, would she?"

"I don't know," Gracia droned, "If getting married and buying a house didn't settle her wanderlust than I don't think getting knocked up would."

"But she's not said anything." Amelia persisted, even as she thought about Lina's strange letters, where she seemed to be dancing around a secret she was doing a poor job of concealing.

Gracia looked at her questioningly, "What's with you? I thought you'd be happy."

Amelia stiffened a little, "Well, I'm her best friend. You'd think she'd tell me rather than letting me hear about it through rumors. If she is that is. Remember when they said that she and Mr. Gourry would be breaking up?"

"You have a point there." Gracia said. "Well, I guess we'll see in another week."

"Yes." Amelia agreed as a wave of anxiety seized her. She and Zelgadis had been looking forward to Lina and Gourry's visit. Considering a life lived at court meant that discussions of families and maintaining the family line were prevalent and ubiquitous, it was nice to have friends who were outside of that sphere. But now that looked like it might be changing.

And while Amelia knew she could find it within herself to be happy for her friends, she also knew that Zelgadis would take it hard. She bit her lip and wondered if she should tell him about the rumors. The point became mute at dinner when the matter became the only thing that Phil, Gracia and Charles could talk about.

After dessert, as they walked back home to their apartments, Amelia cringed as she felt the fire that had been reignited in the wake of taking down Manus Koff evaporate as Zelgadis once more became silent and broody. And as soon as they closed the door behind them he pounced, "I think I should head the research team."

"No." Amelia said. "Look, Miss Franks was onto something. We should keep her on the team and on the trail while she's hot."

"So she says." Zelgadis muttered. "How can you ask me to trust these people after everything we've been through?"

"How about this." Amelia said, "You will have weekly conferences with the researchers. You will also have an unannounced visit each week to check the research. But other than that, you stay away from it."

Amelia met his gaze and hoped that she wasn't opening a dangerous path that would led to a new all consuming, destructive passion that his search for the cure had. He met her gaze and finally said, "Fine." Before storming off to his study and closing the door behind him.


	4. Chapter 4

Usually Lina and Gourry's return to Seyruun was a welcomed occasion for Zelgadis. They were a welcome break from the pomp, ceremony, and sheer vindictiveness of the court. Granted, Lina and Gourry could be vindictive in their own right, but in a way that Zelgadis could fully embrace, not the backstabbing shenanigans. Or diplomacy as Amelia called it.

And further, Gourry was one of the few people Zelgadis felt safe confiding in, if only because the idiot would likely forget everything he said anyway.

But with the rumors floating about that Lina was pregnant, he found himself soured on seeing them. Considering this time last year they thought that Amelia would either be pregnant by now, or have delivered a child even, that those two could be on the journey they had sought and lost was painful. So when the page came into their meeting with King Phil and several local lords to inform them that Lina and Gourry were back at court, Zelgadis simply started to brace himself for the worst.

"Let's go and see them straight away!" Amelia said as soon as the meeting adjourned.

Zelgadis sighed. He would rather return to his apartments until someone could either tell him the coast was clear or if he should just find a nice rock to crawl under. But he knew there was no talking Amelia out of it. "Fine." He grumbled.

He walked with Amelia down the hallways, both of them unusually silent. He kept hoping he was worrying for nothing. That they would go there and Lina and Gourry would laugh off the rumors and assure them that they had no interest in having a family. Yet Zelgadis knew that wasn't true. Of the four of them, Gourry had undeniably had yearnings for a child for the longest. It was only a matter of time before he warmed Lina up to the idea.

They got to Lina and Gourry's apartments just as a page carrying trays of food arrived. Zelgadis braced himself as he thought it looked like even more food than usual, or was he reading too much into it? He watched as Amelia knocked on the door and then threw it open as she called, "Miss Lina? Mr. Gourry? Are you here? Oh, and your food arrived, too."

Even though he had braced himself for this moment, he still felt winded as he watched as Lina walked out of her bedroom, trailed by Sylphiel, glowing as she put her hands on her small but undeniable baby bump. "Amelia! Zel!" she cried.

Several things happened at once, and fortunately any emotion he let slip was likely unnoticed between Amelia shrieking and pointing excitedly at Lina and Gourry emerging from the bathroom after having apparently gotten out of the shower as he was toweling his hair dry. And while Zelgadis knew full well that pregnant women glowed, well, it was safe to say that Gourry's glow put Lina's to shame. Gourry smiled broadly, beamingly, as if to say, "Look at what I did!"

When he did speak, it was the more acceptable, "Hey Zel, Amelia! Oh, food!"

The blond headed for the tray loaded with food as Amelia ran for Lina, hugging her quickly before stopping to marvel at her stomach. "I thought it was just talk, but it's true! And Miss Lina, you never said anything!"

Lina waved a hand dismissively, "Yeah, well, I didn't want to spoil the surprise. Hey wait a minute Gourry, save some for me!"

 _In this case we could have used some warning_ , Zel thought morosely as Lina sat down next to Gourry and started to dig in.

"How far along are you?" Amelia asked as she sat down, smoothing the folds of her pink silk dress as she did.

"Twenty-one weeks." Lina said through bites of food, "Hey Gourry, share with the woman carrying your baby why dontcha!?"

Gourry's baby. A dull ache spread through him as he tasted the bitterness of realizing that the greatest idiot he had ever known had managed to do what he couldn't, father a child with the woman he loved. How Gourry, who seemed so vacant that there had been times when Zelgadis had even wondered if he knew how sex worked, could have done what he, Zelgadis, who was infinitely smarter, couldn't smacked.

"Wow," Amelia said, ignoring the usual food fight as Sylphiel sat down beside her. "That's really great news. We're so happy for you, aren't we Zel?"

Zelgadis could have killed her for bringing the spotlight on him when it was taking all of his effort to keep from having a rather public breakdown. "Yes," he managed to force out. "Delighted."

"I suppose this calls for a celebration." Amelia said quickly, likely to cover for his lack of enthusiasm, "I'll let the cooks know and we can have a big dinner. I really wish you had let us know, there's not much time to plan it."

Zelgadis started to tune them out as they planned dinner and Sylphiel left to pick up her children. He started wracking his brain to find an excuse to leave but kept drawing a blank as he watched Lina and Gourry together. The two who had been the lone holdouts on having a child had succumbed. Now he and Amelia were alone in being without children.

Jealousy gripped him as he watched the beaming pride in Gourry's eyes as he looked at Lina. The man who was too stupid to remember his own middle name but could father a child was obviously relishing watching his wife grow plump and round with their child. It was something that the chances he would experience it with Amelia were growing vanishingly smaller.

Gingerly he looked at Amelia and noticed that she had composed herself behind her regal mask that had been forged during treacherous dealings in the Seyruum court. Amelia knew how to wear a smile when she was broken inside and to keep moving forward. But by now he knew her well enough to know when she was doing it. She was heartbroken and doing her best not to let it show.

It made him feel even worse.

"Isn't it a little early to plan the shower?" Gourry asked, jolting Zelgadis from his angst, as Amelia fled from the room.

Zelgadis blinked as he wondered what had happened, and if it was too late to follow her out of the apartments as Lina waved her hand dismissively, "Typical Amelia. Oh, let her have her fun."

"Hey Zel!" Gourry said cheerfully.

 _Crap. I've been noticed._ Zelgadis thought.

Gourry continued, "Why don't you take a seat?"

With no escape in sight, he sat on the couch that Amelia and Sylphiel had recently vacated. "How's life in Seyruun? Anything interesting happening?"

"Oh, the usual." Zel said with his disinterested tone, thankful at least that they weren't discussing babies. "Bickering diplomats. Stifling formal ceremonies. And…"

The door slammed open, causing everyone to jump. Suddenly the room was filled with a high pitched obnoxious laughter. Lina groaned. "Hello Naga."

For once, Zelgadis was happy to see his sister-in-law. For one thing Gracia had a way of making sure everyone paid attention to her. But more importantly, it gave him the opening and excuse he needed to finally flee.

"I think I'm going to help Amelia." Zel said, and before anyone could say anything, he was gone.

* * *

Amelia managed to make it to the kitchen and drop off her instructions with the cook before ducking into an unused room to collect her breath. She had been suspicious, but seeing it confirmed like that had been overwhelming. And while she was genuinely happy for Lina and Gourry, she could not help but grieve over what she would likely never have.

It did not help that at this time last year she and Zelgadis had been duped into believing they could have been pregnant by now. Lina and Gourry's timing was horrible to say the least. The wounds the previous year had wrought were still fresh and new. And while Amelia had realized that she was going to have to let go of the idea of having a baby, seeing Lina waltz in pregnant did not help.

She wiped at her eyes as she stared out the window and onto the palace lawns and thought bitterly about how much fun she and Lina could have had if they had been pregnant at the same time. Griping about morning sickness and swollen ankles. Raiding the pantry at night. Comparing their bumps. Betting on who would pop first. If she had been able to conceive, their children would be born close together and grow up to be the best of friends. She and Lina could continue to commiserate over late night feedings and on to the terrible twos right through surviving the tumultuous teenage years.

Instead it turned out to be a journey her friend was going on by herself, and leaving her behind.

Something pulled her from her thoughts, and her eyebrows raised as she saw her two younger nephews toddling across the palace lawns through the window.

 _Now where is Nanny?_ Amelia thought as her fear increased as she saw them approach the fountain. Visions of one of them falling in and drowning filled her sight. "Sean!" Amelia screeched as she fled from the room and raced to the grounds and got there just in time to see Sean teaching Eddie how to pee in the fountain. As Amelia gathered and scolded the boys, she reflected that perhaps there were good things about not having to deal with small kids. Such as being embarrassed by their antics or having to deal with the slew of incompetent nannies that Gracia had to contend with.

But as Sean grinned mischievously at her, his blue eyes twinkling merrily, Amelia felt her anger melt under his charms. Even with all that, it would be worth it

* * *

After returning her nephews to her sister, Amelia was able to make her excuses and escape to the safety of her apartments. Fortunately aside from dinner there was nothing on her calendar for the rest of the day, so she had a few hours to grieve and then compose herself for the evening. As soon as she was behind the safety of the ornate double doors she allowed the tears to flow, blurring her sitting room as she made her way to the bedroom.

She quietly opened the door and saw Zelgadis standing by the window, looking out of it and away from her. He didn't make any move to acknowledge her as she closed the door behind her, he merely stayed by the window. Gingerly she walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his back, and she felt a measure of relief as he clasped her hands.

But then he said in an unusually gruff voice, "You shouldn't have married me."

"Zel…" she said as she managed to catch his reflection in the window pane and realized with a shock that he was crying. Considering he would rather punch walls than cry, it was jarring.

"If it wasn't for me you could have all that…"

"Well perhaps it's good that I don't!" she snapped, "I have wealth, power, castles. Growing up I had everything, and I got to marry who I loved. How many women in my position can say that? Perhaps asking for a child was just too much."

"You don't get it, Amelia." He said, "I let Rezo do this to me! It wasn't like he chained me down and forced this on me! I was so stupid, I wanted strength so badly, I believed him when he said…"

"You were a teenager!" Amelia protested, "It's not just that you have to live with the consequences of some choice you made then. Especially when an adult you trusted lied and manipulated you."

She squeezed him a bit tighter, and while she was reluctantly letting go of experiencing pregnancy and birth, there was still one open avenue where she could experience motherhood, "But maybe something good can come of this."

"I'm not at the point where I'm ready to see any sort of silver lining." He snapped.

"But think of this," she insisted, "Think of how your life would have been different if after your parents died you had been taken in by a loving couple, a couple who had your best interests at heart. Perhaps that's why we can't have kids, so we can give a loving home to an orphan who has nothing…"

"Amelia, don't." he whispered as he raised a hand to wipe at his eyes, pausing for a moment before he continued, "Look, I hate to deny you this when I can't give you a baby, but I don't think I could love a child that isn't ours."

"Think about it, Zel." She persisted. "It would be the just thing to do."

"I can't right now, Amelia." He said as he tilted his face towards the window, the sound of his stones scraping the glass grating to both of their ears.

"I see." She said as she let go of him. He didn't say anything as she walked out and closed the door behind her. She found a sofa and collapsed onto it and let the sobs come.

* * *

Zelgadis could sense Amelia's relief that he was coming down to dinner with her. Well, watching her for a few years had taught him how to smile through the tears. Besides, he couldn't get her pregnant, and he couldn't satisfy her desire to adopt, so coming down to dinner with her genuinely seemed like the least he could do.

He sat down between Gourry and Rick, thankful that during the actual eating everyone was too busy shoving food in their mouths to talk. As soon as the meal was over, though, Phil looked at Gourry and said, "So you two are finally in the family way."

Zelgadis groaned to himself, and noticed that his nephew, Sean was climbing up the tapestry. He glanced at both Gracia and Charles, but neither seemed to notice or care. Well, damned if Zelgadis was going to parent for them! Honestly, why were such permissive people even allowed to have kids? Why if Sean had been his son…

"Yeah, we figured it was about time." Gourry said cheerfully. Was it Zel's imagination, or did the swordsman even seem smug as he basked in his ability to impregnate his wife?

"You and Lina are never going to have a quiet dinner again!" Charles said.

"A quiet dinner? What's that?" Gourry asked.

"No kidding! You've seen those two eat!" Rick said.

"Even then, they can say goodbye to the food fights. You'll be too busy making sure your kid eats that mealtimes will seem like some dreaded chore." Charles amended, "No, the wonderful married without kids life is now the sole purview of Zel and Amelia."

Zelgadis could have killed him there and then, but before he could comment, Gracia yelled, "Sean! That's a tapestry, not a ladder! Get down!"

With a devilish grin on his face he climbed down. "Little tyke." Charles said affectionately as Sean ran up to him and sat on his lap.

 _No. No. No. I would never put up with behavior like that. My kids would sit quietly at the table and not run around and destroy the castle. They wouldn't even dare so much as to put a single elbow on the table! Their behavior would be impeccable and beyond reproach at all times or there would be consequences!_ Zelgadis fumed to himself. _Why the wrong people are allowed to breed like bunnies when people who would be good parents can't…_

"Don't pay much mind to Charles. It's not that bad. And you and Lina both have family and friends both here and in Zefiel City who can take the baby for a night so you can have to time alone with each other." Rick said, "And you two will need to stay connected with each other."

"I don't see how anything can get between us." Gourry said.

"That's some very good advice, Rick!" Phil said, "I think I'll take my grandsons and your kids for the night! We can have a slumber party!"

And before anyone could say anything, Phil had gotten up to let their mothers know and started rounding up the kids.

 _Great_ , Zelgadis thought bitterly, _Gracia and Charles flop on the parenting front and get rewarded with a nice, romantic evening off so they can go and make a forth royal terror._

"Gee, is he going to be okay, taking care of all six of them by himself?" Gourry asked.

"Oh, don't worry about that." Amelia chimed in, "He will organize some game to teach about justice, tell a story, and have them asleep in no time. Daddy is very good with children."

Naga snorted, and took a long drink of ale, but said nothing. Gourry turned to Zelgadis and said, "I guess we'll have to see about making you and Amelia godparents."

"Huh?" Zelgadis said.

"Lina and I want you to play an important role."

Zelgadis wasn't sure how he felt about this, but managed to say, "We'd be honored."

"So are you wanting a boy or a girl?" Rick asked.

"Lina says it's a girl." Gourry replied, "And she's the smart one, so if she says it's a girl, it's a girl."

"There's no way to tell, is there?" Charles asked, "Seems to me she just really wants a girl."

"Well, what are you wanting?" Rick asked.

"Well, a boy would be fun because we could do swordplay." Gourry said. "But if we have a girl, Lina will be so busy dressing her up then she won't have time to throw a dress and lipstick on me!"

"Remind me never to ask what goes on in your bedroom." Rick said, and even Zelgadis managed a laugh.

"But come on now," Charles said after he'd taken a drink of some wine. "One Lina in this world is enough! Surely for the sake of the world you should wish for a boy!"

Gracia laughed, and the table went silent as everyone shuddered. Any hope that they would talk about something other than Lina and Gourry's impending arrival was quashed when Rick asked how the new baby would affect their six months in Zefiel City, six months in Seyruun arrangement. By the time they started to disperse, Zelgadis was feeling more drained than he could remember feeling in ages. He watched sullenly as Gourry walked up and patted Lina's stomach as he leant down to kiss her before they left together, his arm wrapped securely around her shoulder. While he had never begrudged them for the connection they had, he hated the fact that he now felt so jealous that he was worried that he would destroy their friendship.

His attention then fell on Rick as he helped Sylphiel, who looked about ready to pop with baby number four, out of her chair. As she placed her hands on her lower back, Rick asked, "Do you want me to rub your back or your ankles first when we get home?"

Sylphiel smiled at him, looking more content than he'd seen Amelia looking in a while as she responded, "Thank you, for finding ways to constantly remind me why I love having you around."

Even Gracia and Charles seemed cozy in their awkward way as Gracia grabbed his arm and asked, "Hey handsome, how about buying me a drink at the Firebrand?"

"Honey, you read my mine!" Charles said as he gathered her in his arms and gave her a more passionate kiss than Zelgadis deemed appropriate to give in public.

That all of their friends seemed to be experiencing high points in their relationships while his and Amelia's was at a definite low just made him feel even more alone. And there was a solution, teasing him like a rainbow that keeps drifting further away the faster you run to it. Yet it wasn't as if Zelgadis could say he'd done everything within his power to reach it.

And that was when he made up his mind to hit the library as soon as Amelia fell asleep.

* * *

Usually the library was a place where Zelgadis could relax. But given what he was researching tonight, he kept an ear open and it seemed as though his research was taking twice as long as he kept looking over his shoulder. When he heard footsteps down the hall he kept hoping whoever it was would walk past the library. For the most part it was horny nobles on their way to romantic trysts. But the person instead walked into the library.

Zelgadis felt his hair stand on end and hoped that he wouldn't been seen. He had chosen a discreet location after all. But as soon as he saw Lina he knew it was pointless. She was too well trained in observing her surroundings to not know he was there.

"Hey Zel, what brings you out here so late?" she asked as she stopped by his table, and Zelgadis wondered why she had to bring attention to her bump by placing her hands on it.

Quickly he slammed the book shut and started to gather his stuff. "Nothing, actually, I should be going."

Zelgadis was aware that Lina's temper had been awakened. Apparently not even pregnancy had been able to smother it, "What's that supposed to mean? Really, you've been acting funny since we got here! I'm starting to wonder if you're up to something."

And before he could react (and partly because he in no way wanted to be responsible for accidently knocking a pregnant woman over and injuring her, and then having to face her husband the next day, not to mention Amelia), Lina had grabbed his book and opened it. "Hey!" Zel cried uselessly.

Her eyebrows shot up, "You're researching chimeras again!? But didn't you vow to give up finding your cure when you married Amelia?"

Zelgadis felt his face heat up, "It's…it's not like that at all!"

"What is it like then?" said the voice of the person Zelgadis least wanted to be there. His hair stood on end. He could have sworn she was sound asleep when he left! What was she doing up and about!? His heart raced as he looked in the doorway and found Amelia, clothed her dressing gown and looking livid.

He was barely aware that Lina had put his book back on the table as he steeled himself for a fight while Lina made her excuses. "Maybe I should just leave and let the two of you sort this out…"

"I couldn't agree more." he said, feeling that she had wrought more than enough damage.

Amelia stepped away from the doorway, sparks flying in her eyes, and Lina raced towards it. Zelgadis' stomach bundled into knots and he prayed that Amelia would wait until Lina was gone and out of earshot. But his wife was too angry to contain it. Lina was still in the library when Amelia started to yell, "You promised me you'd stop chasing after it! It was consuming you, it wasn't healthy! How could you?"

Before he could think better of it he snapped to defend himself, "It's not about the cure at all! I was trying to find a way to make myself fertile so we could have a kid!"

"We discussed this already. I have the top minds in white magic working on it."

"Yes, and their efforts have been so fruitful!" Zelgadis yelled back sarcastically.

"These things take time!" Amelia insisted as she balled her hands up.

"It would go a lot faster if you let me work on it!" he thundered, "Instead you put me on a leash! You act like I can't be trusted!"

"Well whose fault is that!?" Amelia screamed. "You were the one who nearly…"

"I was under her thrall! I never would have put that town in danger if…"

"Don't you dare pass the buck! You let her!"

"I've learned my lesson! I'm stronger now! I know better and won't let it happen again! Dammit, I won't take lives for my cure, I swear to you! That said, I'm tired of not being able to pursue what I want!"

"And I don't want to go back to being second in your life!" Amelia cried.

"What are you talking about?"

"Before you gave up the cure your life was all about it! I was always second! I don't want to be second again!" she said as tears started to fall.

"You are still that naïve little girl, aren't you?" he snarled, "I sought the cure so I could be with you! Think for once! If I'd been cured we wouldn't be arguing about having a baby right now! You'd be pregnant!"

"If you'd even be here, and not out chasing that cure, leaving me alone!" she protested.

"I hope you don't mind the interruption." Gracia said as she appeared in the doorway, looking as though she'd just gotten back from having a wild, fun night on the town, "But I thought you'd like to know, there are about 15 people in the hallway hanging onto every word you're shouting."

Both of them froze, face flushed, wondering how they couldn't have remembered to go to their chambers first before fighting. Gracia looked at her nails in a disinterested manner, "So, should I charge admission or are you going to take this somewhere else?"

Zelgadis shook his head, "I'm going to my office. I'll sleep there tonight." He muttered.

"Fine." Amelia said as she folded her arms around herself.

As he left he heard Gracia ask Amelia, "Do you need me to stay and talk?"

"Thanks," Amelia said morosely, "But I just need to be alone right now."


	5. Chapter 5

When Amelia finally managed to drag herself out of bed and out of her apartments to go down to breakfast, it was considerably later in the morning than she was usually up and about by. Going out and facing the court was the last thing she wanted to do, but she also knew from experience that the more she delayed the inevitable the worst it would be. So she dragged herself out of bed, dressed, and forced herself into the hallway.

Only to see the Countess Zora whispering loudly enough to the Duke of Sato for Amelia to hear, "…A real nasty fight! Of course that chimera can't provide her an heir, and last night they let it all out. He slept in his office. There's a bet going on…"

The Duke straightened when he saw Amelia, blushing a bit as he bowed, "Princess Amelia."

Amelia nodded at him. Countess Zora didn't even bother to look abashed. She simply smiled at Amelia knowingly, "Princess."

Amelia walked past them, keeping as much dignity as she could muster when she heard Zora say, "No one would blame you for fixing a mistake you made when you were young and foolish."

Amelia's hands balled into fists as she turned and snapped, "Really?" her eyes sparkled, "Then you're off the Event Committee! And unless your husband wants to lose his post as well then I suggest you keep your opinions to yourself!"

It was Zora's turn to flush as she fanned herself and walked down the hallway. Amelia turned on her heels and continued on to the breakfast room. When she got there she was surprised to hear Lina inside. Usually she had already left for her shift as a guard. Quietly Amelia opened the door and saw that Lina was addressing Phil, walking a dangerous tightrope between keeping her infamous temper in check and remembering she was addressing the King of Seyruun as she said, "Desk duty then, anything! I just can't sit on my ass for the next four months! I'll go crazy!"

"No." Phil said, "You can't keep your nose out of trouble. Even if I put you on light duty the first hint you'd catch that something isn't right you'd go and put yourself in some dangerous position. In your condition we simply can't allow it."

"But it's not your business! Or your call to make…" Lina stopped midsentence as she noticed Amelia at the doorway. "Amelia."

Amelia closed the door behind her and sat at her seat. Gourry was gone, he'd likely already left for work. Phil looked as though he had just finished his breakfast. Her sister was there, though her brother-in-law and nephews were gone. Likely Gracia wanted to watch the show. Zelgadis wasn't there, but Amelia seemed to recall that he had an early morning meeting.

"You are under my employ, so it is my call to make." Phil said, and judging by the fact that he hadn't stopped his conversation with Lina, Amelia deduced that he hadn't heard yet. Amazingly Gracia had stayed silent. Amelia wondered if she had been so drunk the previous night she simply hadn't remembered intervening. "Now, I have some meetings to attend to. Good day Miss Lina."

Lina made no move to stop him from leaving as he reached over to hug Gracia, "Have a good day!"

"You too."

"Amelia!" he exclaimed as he saw her, "Sleeping in?"

"Long night." She said as she hugged him and wondered if she should say anything. But the trouble was she didn't even know where to start! "We'll catch up at lunch!"

"Looking forward to it!"

He left, and Amelia tried to eat a bit of breakfast but found that she did not have a lot of appetite. Meanwhile Gracia turned to Lina and said, "See? You get knocked up and people start treating you like you're useless."

"Hmm." Lina said as she looked at Amelia with concern, and Amelia decided that her sister truly had not remembered the previous night. Even Gracia wasn't that tactless. "Hey Naga, don't you have somewhere to be?"

"Geez." Gracia said, "Just remember, I was your best friend first!"

"We were never best friends!" Lina insisted.

"I have to be going anyway. Very important meeting. Enjoy sitting on your pregnant ass. You should take up knitting, or something."

Gracia left, and Amelia continued to poke at her food. Lina considered her for a moment and asked, "Do you want to take a walk?"

"Yes." Amelia said, reflecting that it simply wasn't a breakfast morning.

They were both silent until they got to the gardens, likely one of the places where they would have the most privacy. Then Amelia started off the conversation, "I'm sorry you had to see that."

"Don't mention it," Lina replied. "All couples fight after all."

Amelia smiled warily, "Still, usually we have the good sense to do it in private. I walked in on Countess Zora discussing my marital woes with Duke Sato. And it's only a matter of time before Daddy and my sis find out!"

"Hey, it will blow over. Remember when Gourry and I had that public fight over…damn, I can't even remember what we were fighting about, that got the rumor mills started that we'd be splitting up? Eventually something else will come along that the courtiers will eat up and they'll forget all about this."

Lina was right, but it was also different in her case. "It's a little different when you're royalty and it's bedroom matters that are being discussed. I mean, part of the job is propagating the line."

"But you knew that Zel couldn't when…"

"Of course I did! But it was okay because Sis had already had Travis and the continuity of the throne was assured. We still wanted to give it a try, though."

"So you hired researchers?"

Amelia nodded, "You remember what happened with Nerisp?"

Lina groaned, "How could I forget? She strung Zel good. I never thought he would actually kill innocents for the cure, but she spun him one good story."

"Yes, it's fortunate we stopped him before it was too late. And in the long run it was for the better. He decided it wasn't worth wasting the rest of his life searching for a cure that probably didn't exist and settled down here with me. I was content just to have him for awhile, though he talked about trying to find a way to make him fertile. I was so scared of a repeat of the Nerisp incident that I kept putting it off until Sis had Sean. Then _I_ wanted a baby of my own so badly I couldn't help it anymore.

"So to prevent him from getting too consumed again I hired a team of researchers and swore them to secrecy. Keeping them on retainer takes out a big chunk of my stipend, but it didn't matter. Zel and I could continue with our lives while someone was working on the problem. About a year ago they produced some sort of potion. We tried it, but nothing. I figured if at first you don't succeed, try again, but Zel took it pretty badly."

It wasn't the full truth, but Amelia was not ready to delve into the full horridness of what had happened to them yet. Besides, the court had ears.

"So no wonder he was so grouchy yesterday."

 _Of course they noticed_. "He seemed to take some sort of comfort in the fact that we weren't the last childless couple in the group. Not that we're not happy for you!"

Lina patted her on the shoulder, "Don't mention it. It's just…"

"What?"

"Well, I never pegged Zel as the type who would ever want a child."

Amelia stiffened. "Strange, he said the same about you."

Lina blanched, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing." Amelia said, slightly annoyed and wondering why she always had to be the emotionally sensitive one. "Anyway, I can't stay too much longer. I have a lot of paperwork to get through. So, what are you going to do today?"

Lina shrugged, "Haven't really thought about it. Phil has put me on maternity leave. Humph, just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I can't fire a few spells."

Amelia smiled, "He just doesn't want you to overdo it."

"Sure, whatever, I didn't know that everyone would treat me like fine china. I mean…"

Amelia felt something snap within her. For one thing, she did not want to get in the middle of a conflict between Lina and her father. It was bad enough that things between her and Zelgadis were so fragile. The thought of being on poor terms with either Lina or Phil in addition was more than she could bear.

But there was another thing that bothered her, "Miss Lina, I'm happy for you, but it's really hard for me to listen to you complain about being pregnant when I'm not. You can share your joy with me, but don't share your grief."

That seemed to shock Lina speechless. Amelia turned to head back to the palace, feeling that she had accomplished as much with Lina as she could that morning. Their relationship was repaired and a boundary was set., "Well, have fun and don't get into too much trouble!"

* * *

When Zelgadis woke up, both Gourry and Rick were crouching over him. "Works every time." Rick said, as he pocketed a bottle of something that Zelgadis recognized as being the potion they gave to people when drunk to sober them up. It didn't do the job completely, though generally if you stuck the poor fool in a bath the immersion in water would work as a catalyst for helping the potion to get the alcohol out of a person's system. It was certainly faster and better than sleeping it off and living with the hangover.

Zelgadis slowly sat up. He felt tired, but clear headed at least. Or more clear headed than he had when he passed out in his office the previous night after raiding the liquor cabinet. "What are you two doing here?" he asked.

"Well, you have a meeting with General Peppermen."

"Oh, I guess I did." Zelgadis said as he glanced at the clock.

"When you didn't show he sent Rick to find you. Sorry, I had to use the skeleton key to get in." Gourry said, and Zelgadis read the unspoken word that they had been worried that he'd taken more drastic measures. He was certain the whole castle knew now and was laughing at him.

Gourry and Rick helped him up off the floor, and Gourry said, "Hey, I think I've got it from here. Get back to your post."

"Right." Rick said.

Gourry held an arm around him to steady him as he took Zelgadis to the secret exit that lead to the hidden passageways to his chambers. Zelgadis was grateful that he wouldn't have to face the world just yet. "You may have to refreshen my memory on how to navigate these." Gourry said.

"I think I have it from here actually."

"I can't risk letting you fall and crack your head now that you're a valuable royal now, can I?" Gourry asked cheerfully.

"I'm not that valuable." Zelgadis countered as they made it to his chambers. "Now I've definitely got it from here."

"Let me draw you a bath." Gourry said, "It'll get you fully sobered up. Besides, I have something I've been meaning to tell you."

Zelgadis knew it was standard fair. Use the potion, wake the drunk, put him in a bath, and don't leave in case they drown themselves. "Fine."

Gourry hummed to himself as he drew the bath while Zelgadis took his clothes off, wishing he could read the other man's mind. Surely Lina must have told him. No, the bigger question was did he remember it? "All ready." Gourry said.

Zelgadis grumpily got in the bath, cursing his body the whole time. While he was used to bathing around Gourry, there were times when the fact that the swordsman's body was damn well near the perfect ideal made him more self-conscious of his freakish nature than usual. This was one of them. Still, the bath did feel good, and he could definitely feel the last vestiges of the alcohol fade away as the water finished the job of the potion. Yet with the receding of the intoxication came the strong feels of anger, jealousy and resentment. Zelgadis had run through every epitaph for idiot in his head when Gourry took him by surprise by asking, "Did I ever tell you about my Great Uncle Gideon?"

"No," Zelgadis said, stunned. In all the years he'd known Gourry he'd never known the swordsman to talk about his family, other than to state that the Sword of Light was a family heirloom. Even at his wedding to Lina, no relatives from Gourry's side showed up. Zelgadis had simply assumed he'd forgotten where they were.

"He was a good man." Gourry said, "I think you would have liked him. He was a great warrior, and he fought for the right reasons. He was very respected in my village. After he put down the sword he was even elected mayor."

"Oh," Zelgadis said.

"He was married twice. His first wife died after they were wedded for thirty years or so. They never had any children, and everyone assumed that Great Aunt Gilda was barren. But after Great Aunt Gilda died, he married Great Aunt Genna, a widow. She brought to the marriage three children from her first one. So everyone was excited for him. Great Aunt Genna was still young enough to have many children, and everyone thought he would soon have the heir he so desperately wanted."

Zelgadis sat a little straighter as Gourry smiled sadly, "But the years went on, and no children ever came."

"Gourry…" Zelgadis said.

"When Great Uncle Gideon died, it was without ever having the child he desperately wanted." Gourry continued, "I was thinking about him a lot last year. You see, I wasn't quite honest when I said Lina and I were letting things happen on the family front. It took us two years. At first I don't think Lina was too serious about it, but I was. And as more time passed, I started to become more concerned but I didn't want to say anything. And then she started becoming concerned as she became more ready. And I wondered, what if I was like Great Uncle Gideon?"

Zelgadis bit his lip as he struggled with an impulse to cry. Suddenly Gourry clasped him on the shoulder, "You're not the only man whose gone through this! And my Great Uncle Gideon? He never lost people's respect over it. I mean, people talked. Especially given how Great Aunt Gilda had born the shame of being barren, and I think he felt guilty when he realized it was him and not her. Still, he died a hero and even when I left they still held celebrations in his honor. No one would have dared to suggest he was less of a man."

Something crashed within Zelgadis, and before he knew it, he was sobbing like he hadn't in years as he told Gourry everything, about the research team, the serum, learning about Manus Koff's deception, how he wanted to do more to find a way to make himself fertile but was prevented from it.

"And I feel so horrible for what I'm taking away from Amelia…"

"She accepted it when she married you. I mean, do you remember how happy you made her when you married her? She knew she was getting more than she was giving up."

"But you should see her when she's with her nephews. That look in her eyes. She grieves every time she sees them, for what I can't give her!"

The swordsman's eyes narrowed a little, "Well, maybe you should put some more effort into what you can give her."

"But this is so big. She's nobility. She'd always expected to have children."

"So did my great uncle." Gourry said, "Come on, Zel. You and Amelia aren't the only people of nobility around here without heirs."

Zelgadis bit his lip and stood up, feeling fully clear headed now if a little tired. Gourry handed him a towel and sighed, "It will take time to accept this, but you and Amelia have something precious. Don't let this destroy what you have."

"I sometimes think it would be better for her if I left."

"It's not like you to quit when things get hard."

"It's not about quitting." Zelgadis said as he toweled himself dry, "It's about letting go of what I love most so she can be happy."

"Is she asking you to let her go?"

"No."

"Then where'd you get that stupid idea that doing so would make her happy?" Gourry asked.

Zelgadis closed his mouth and focused on toweling himself dry as Gourry continued, "Or are you saying that Amelia doesn't know what she wants? She's always seemed very clear on that front."

Zelgadis brushed his hair from his eyes, "You're right."

"I know." Gourry said, and then he paused. "Look, are we okay?"

Zelgadis smiled a little, "I kind of hated your guts yesterday. But I'm coming around. No offense."

"None taken." Gourry said, "I went through something similar with Rick when I heard Sylphiel was pregnant again."

Zelgadis laughed, "I guess we can always trade jabs at Rick!"

Gourry smiled, but quickly switched to a more serious expression, "Really, though. Lina and I value our friendship with you. I mean, how many people can brag that they took down Shabranigdo together? I can't say things won't change, because it feels like everything is changing. But we still want you to be a part of our lives."

Zelgadis gave him a small smile and clasped him on the shoulder. Surprisingly he was feeling better. "You know, your baby is going to be real lucky to have you for a father." Gourry's expression didn't change until relief shone on it as Zel continued, "We're good. It just caught me at a bad time yesterday. Given the previous year and all."

* * *

Amelia had finally gotten her mind to focus on the documents before her when someone knocked on her door. She sighed as it opened, and became tense when the page announced it was her father. Amelia inhaled as butterflies erupted in her stomach. Surely by now he had heard.

Phil came in, looking concerned, and the page closed the door. "Amelia." He said as he held his hands open.

Amelia ran to him and let him hug her. While she hadn't wanted him to find out like this, keeping this a secret from him had been hard. At least now she wasn't hiding anything from him. "Daddy."

They were silent for a moment, "Did I ever tell you about the public fight your mother and I had?"

Amelia smiled sadly, "The way you talk about her you two never fought. And I think I'd like to keep it that way."

"Fair enough." He said, "It will blow over you know."

"Yeah." _It will just be hard as hell till it does._

"Is there anything I can do to help? I can fund the research team if you like."

Amelia smiled warily, "Zel and I still need to figure out where we will go from there. Hopefully in a less public venue."

"Have you considered adoption?" he asked, and Amelia cringed. He said that as though she was an idiot who hadn't thought through every option. And as if it was somehow the perfect solution.

"It's on the table." She said, "However, and I know it may sound strange, I'd like to know what it feels like to carry a child."

"I guess that's natural." He said. "Whatever you decide is fine. But listen, you can talk to me."

"I know." Amelia said, "But Zel is private about these things. I would have talked to you earlier but he would have been mortified."

"Well, I guess you know what's best for your relationship."

But Amelia felt something shatter within her as she wondered if that was really true.

* * *

Zelgadis canceled his appointments for the rest of the day. In all honesty he wanted to find a cave to hide in. But he knew he couldn't. So he decided to camp out in the library, a place nobles tended to avoid. Pregnant, crimson haired sorceresses, on the other hand, were a different story.

He paused when he came into the library and saw Lina sitting at a table reading. He could just discern the titles about infants on the books she had spread across the table. Fortunately, her bump was hidden under it. She looked up when he came in. "Zel." She said.

"Lina." He acknowledged. He already had the book on the history of diplomatic relations between Seyruun and the Elmekian Empire under his arm.

She quickly started to gather her books into a neat pile, and she even managed to do so in a way that made the titles less visible, "Have a seat?"

"Thanks," He said as he sat down and opened his book. It was hard. But Gourry had reminded him of why they had stayed such good friends even after giving up a life of adventure on the road. And given the fact that he needed a good friend, he simply could not let this get between them. Lina and Gourry had not gotten pregnant to hurt him after all. Nor had they done it to laugh at and embarrass him. He couldn't be happy for them yet, but he could work on keeping their friendship.

* * *

Amelia sighed as she read back over what she had wrote. A guest list. A list of possible themes. A list of food and desserts. Lina's baby shower was starting to take a cohesive shape. Amelia smiled a bittersweet smile. Well, she may not be pregnant herself, but what was the point of having a best friend if you can't live vicariously through them?

She set the list down and made a note to talk with Lina about it when she saw her at breakfast the next day. Then she looked at the clock. It was late, and Zelgadis had still not come home. She'd not seen him at breakfast, lunch or dinner. And she'd knew he'd cancelled his appointments. Her anxiety was starting to mount as she deliberated about whether or not to call a guard to search for him when the door opened.

"Zel," she cried in relief as she walked up to hug him. She could not describe how happy she was when he returned the embrace.

"I talked to Lina and Gourry today," he said, "We're good with each other."

"Me too." She said as a nervous giddiness overtook her. "And, what about us?"

He leaned forward so his forehead was touching hers, "I want to be good with you."

She squeezed his hands. "I needed to hear that."

There were still tough conversations that needed to be had. But as far as Amelia was concerned it could wait until the morning. For the moment she simply wanted to work on healing the chasm the previous night had wrought. The next battle could wait.


	6. Chapter 6

"So you're wanting Rosalinda Franks to head the research team?" Zelgadis asked Amelia as she traced her finger around the raised bump in his shirt where one of his stones were. Cuddling was a risky proposition because of it, and the times when they had attempted it without his clothes on she had ended up having to spend a lot of time with a healing spell after words because of how scratched up her skin became and he had felt horrible. Amelia kept how frustrated it made her to herself.

She also thought it explained why it was so hard to reach him. When your body is a fortress against physical contact you have to fortify the mind as well. And while she would never say it out loud, she did resent the fact that they always had to be so careful when engaging in physical contact. And even then, she was often left healing the wounds it wrought.

"Well, she's on the right path it would seem." Amelia said, "Both research and morally."

Zelgadis was quiet as he stared at the ceiling.

"What is it?" Amelia asked as she sat up a little on their bed.

"It's just, after what happened, I'm not sure I feel about trusting others with this. For all we know Rosalinda Franks is using us for her own purposes, too."

She rested her head back on his chest, ignoring the unevenness of the rocks boring into her head. She kept waiting for the day when she would get used to it. She was determined to get used to it. But she still had to settle for enduring it. Meanwhile, she worried about opening the door to larger problems in the future with what she was about the propose. "Perhaps if you dropped by randomly, once a week, and viewed every written report they have on site. Would that help?"

She felt him relax a little, and she hoped that in her effort to repair things between them she wasn't opening the door to future problems, "That would work."

Amelia lifted her head up to kiss him and inhaled, loving the scent of impending rain that always rose whenever she did. It was a welcome reminder that if he ever was cured there would be something she missed. Mindful of the fact that her maid would arrive soon to dress her she pulled away and made to get out of bed and decided that now was as good as a time as any to bring up the next bombastic topic, "How long should we wait for results before talking about other means again?"

"Other means?" he asked.

"Adopting a child." She clarified.

He was silent for a moment. "Give me some time to get back to you on that."

Amelia grabbed her robe and wrapped it around herself. She was about to say more, but right then Mary started knocking. Amelia took a deep breath to fortify herself for facing another hard day.

* * *

The following weeks passed awkwardly. Zelgadis and Amelia's difficulties were discussed and dissected by everyone. Wild rumors raced through the court and were spread as truth regardless of their merit. Zelgadis did his best to stay in his chambers as often as he could, but it was not possible to completely stay away. Some people were outright mean when he saw them. And Zelgadis could handle that. He knew where he stood with them. It was the ones who were sympathetic that presented more conflicting feelings for him. Should he trust that they really cared for his wellbeing? Or were they wanting him to confide in them so they could call in a favor for later? Or worse, to get ammo for more rumors? While it hadn't happened to him, he had seen what happened to other nobles when they trusted the wrong person with their secrets.

"How do you do it?" Zelgadis asked Amelia as they walked to breakfast, "Never knowing who really wants to be a friend or who just wants to get ahead. Having to question everyone's motives."

"You just learn to always keep your guard up." Amelia said with a cheerfulness he found perplexing given the circumstances.

Zelgadis sighed, and then noticed the sounds of the conversation from the breakfast area. More like bickering. Lina and Gracia were having a heated discussion. Hopefully it would be something to distract him from having his private life displayed so publicly.

Amelia threw the door open with her usual drama, and Lina and Gracia instantly quieted as they looked at them. Zelgadis was surprised. Usually it took a lot more to distract those two from an argument. But then Lina looked down nervously while Gracia sat back in her chair and looked at the table. He felt his stomach twist as he wondered what sick new rumor was floating around about him and Amelia.

"Well good morning to you, too!" Amelia said chidingly, "Everything okay?"

Gracia and Lina looked at each other apprehensively while Gourry shoveled food in his mouth even faster as though he was avoiding them. Phil put down his fork and looked strangely contemplative as his grandsons threw their food on the floor. Charles, meanwhile, rolled his eyes, "They're going to hear about it sooner or later. Sylphiel had her baby last night. A boy."

"Oh," Amelia said as she took a seat, and Zelgadis felt relieved that it wasn't about them, even if their reaction was. "That's wonderful."

Zelgadis joined her as Lina and Gracia looked at them carefully. He wished they wouldn't. Their awkwardness around them just made him feel even more like a freak. While Zelgadis struggled for something to say, Amelia smiled and said, "There's no need to be so strange about this. A new baby is welcome news. So, what are they calling him?"

Gracia smiled as she pointed at Lina, "Someone was so traumatized by the ordeal that she ran away without getting his name!"

"Oh shut up!" Lina snapped.

"Well, I supposed we'll find his name out by lunch." Amelia said before another fight could break out, "I might even be able to carve out some time to see him if the meeting with the Board of Trade doesn't go over."

"It will." Phil, Gracia and Charles all said at the same time.

"After lunch, then." Amelia said, and Zelgadis hoped she wouldn't ask him to join her. "Is that a new necklace, Sis?"

There were times when Amelia's ability to diplomatically change the subject was a godsend. This was one of them. Even if it was about Gracia' jewelry, at least it was a less painful topic.

* * *

Zelgadis kept on adding items to the list of things he would rather be doing. He could have been training the palace guards. He could be negotiating a peace talk. He could be debating a spending budget. He could be checking in on the research team. Heck, he could be doing research! He could even be doing something frivolous, such as reading or talking with his friends. But no. He was stuck in this meeting, listening as a bunch of adults whined like children over seating arrangements for the upcoming Samon Dinner. And yes, it was a big diplomatic event, and foreign officials, including royalty, would be there. Yet for the life of him he simply could not see why it mattered if he was seated sixteen seats to Phil's right or seventeen. But to Amelia, Phil, and Gracia, it did. And to the Duke of Wenber, it did as well. Only he thought he should have a closer seat to Phil than Zelgadis.

And while Zelgadis had tried to tell them he really didn't care, the other three were insistent it would undermine his authority to have to be moved further down the table. So Zelgadis had to resolve himself to listening to them bickering over something so trivial.

"He himself is not of noble blood." The Duke of Wenber argued.

"He is descended from Rezo the Red Priest." Amelia said, "And he is my husband."

"Is he?" The Duke of Wenber asked as he slammed a pamphlet on the table. Zelgadis could not see the pamphlet from where he was seated, but he did see Amelia's jaw drop. "This came out this morning. Have you had the time to read it yet?"

"What is this?" Phil asked.

The Duke of Wenber picked it up and opened his mouth to read, but was interrupted as Amelia cried, "You can't!"

Zelgadis sat up straighter as a bad feeling churned in his stomach. The Duke of Wenber cleared his throat, "Princess Amelia and her husband, Duke Zelgadis, have a storybook romance and marriage. Or do they? The Seyruun court was rocked earlier this year when a marital rift was discovered between the two over the Duke's inability to father children. Yet it goes further than that according to one of Princess Amelia's former maids, Mary. The nature of Duke Zelgadis' curse renders him impotent as well as infertile, and the whole purpose of their long sojourn in Tealblu was to experiment with ways to consummate their union, three years after it occurred. Naturally, this puts into doubt the very validity of their marriage."

By the time the Duke of Wenber had stopped reading Amelia had turned as red as a ruby, while Zelgadis felt his fingers dig into the table as his own skin turned purple with rage. As Zelgadis struggled to remember how to use his tongue to form words, Phil cried, "How dare you bring that slanderous piece of garbage into this room and use it to insult my daughter!"

Gracia, meanwhile, studied her fingernails with a bored air and said, "I can vouch for their marriage being one hundred percent legitimate, in every way and function."

Zelgadis felt his hair stand on end as she continued, "I never wanted to say anything, but on summer nights those two leave the windows on their balcony open and, well, being right next door I just can't help but hear those interludes."

Zelgadis suddenly wished for the ability to melt into a puddle, seep through the floor, and become one with the ground. Gracia smiled conspiratorially and put an arm around Amelia, "Nevermind the fact that your headboard Is on the other side of my wall. So often I'll be kept up at night by a rhythmic BANG! BANG! BANG!" She paused for a moment as Amelia put her face in her hands and Gracia added, "BANGBANGBANG! I must say, being a chimera must give him some stamina."

Zelgadis couldn't bring himself to look at any of them, especially Phil, so he looked at the table instead. He was going to kill Gracia. And the Duke of Wenber. And then he was going to drink until he wiped this memory clean from his mind. Meanwhile Gracia continued, "And I never would have guessed that Zel would have been the type to growl like a werewolf when he comes. Are you sure Rezo didn't mix a bit of werewolf in there?"

Amelia shook her head as she kept her face covered and managed to squeak out, "I think you've made your point."

Phil coughed, "Yes, well, suffice to say, it would seem there is little doubt about the validity of their union, unless you want to accuse my daughter, The Crowned Princess Gracia, of being a liar. Meaning Duke Zelgadis will continue to be seated sixteen seats to my right. And that is final."

The Duke of Wenber opened his mouth to protest, but Phil cut him off, "I would think very carefully about what you say before you do anything more to embarrass my daughter."

Something flashed in the younger man's eyes as he grabbed the pamphlet and left, barely taking the time to say, "Just know I'm not the one who published this. And you were going to find out sooner or later."

He slammed the door behind him, leaving a definitive air of awkwardness in his place. King Phil stood up gravely and went and put a hand on Amelia's back, "For the record, I don't want to know what is truth and what is fiction here. This will blow over. Just keep holding on until it does." Amelia nodded, and Zelgadis still felt like he wanted to melt.

Phil looked at Gracia, who stood up. "We've got another meeting to attend to."

"I'll talk to you at dinner." Gracia said to Amelia.

Amelia nodded and finally put her hands down. Her face was still flushed and her eyes watery. "Please don't tell any of the others about this."

Somehow, Amelia had found something to say that would make it worse! While their friends tended to stay away from court gossip, something this big would likely reach their ears. Zelgadis put his head on the table and wondered why he had never bothered to learn how to teleport. Finally they left, leaving him alone with his wife.

As soon as the door was closed, Zelgadis tore into Amelia, "How could your sister have just talked about us so crudely like that?"

"Oh, grow up!" Amelia snapped, "She was saving our skin! It wasn't too long ago that consummating marriage among the nobility was done in front of witnesses, and someone would have asked to revive that practice, I'm sure of it."

"Well she didn't have to be so…so…"

"It wasn't as if I liked it, either!" Amelia said, "But it wasn't her fault! I mean, how could Mary?"

"Mary. Where is that bitch?"

Amelia pulled at her hair, "She turned in her notice. I thought it was strange. I mean, it was so abrupt. She's likely miles from here by now!"

"Dammit, we need her! I know Manus Koff is behind this! He wanted to embarrass us after we destroyed his career."

Amelia bit her lip, "It could be Manus Koff. Okay, it's very likely it was him. However, he's not the only one who has a need to get revenge against us. We do live in the Seyruun Court after all. We need more proof. And I don't even know if I could stomach launching an investigation into this!"

Zelgadis gritted his teeth, "Oh, I can do some investigating of my own. I don't need a damn committee."

He braced himself for her to stop him. But when she finally spoke she said, "When you find who it was, let me know before you do anything."

"Done." he said.

They looked at each other, distress written on each of their faces. She reached a hand out, "Zel…"

But he couldn't. From the moment he'd agreed to marry Amelia, he hated the written word about his relationship to her. Whether it was political memos extolling the Beauty and the Beast tale of their romance and devotion to each other or the trashy, pink memos circulating among the nobility telling outlandish yarn about how he was an evil being sent to corrupt the royal family, he hated it all. In one light he was a character to be pitied and looked down on to build up Amelia's virtues. How she was so pure and good that she could look into the face of even the homeliest man and see someone worthy of love. In another light he was evil being who would destroy her.

He thought things would get better. That as he earned his accomplishments and got to know people that they would see him as a whole, human person, not an object to be either pitied or feared. Yet it was impossible to win accomplishments without stepping on someone's toes and gaining enemies. And he was an easy target for the pink memos, the medium by which gossip was spread through the nobility. It was salacious, it was crude, and it was gobbled up like candy, and no one gave a damn what was true and what was false. If it seemed somehow plausible, few questioned it. And the more successful he became, the more it seemed people wanted to take him down.

But this? Having his sexual life published and dissected for the whole kingdom to gossip about? This was a new low he could not stomach. This was not something he would ever have agreed to go through when he made a vow to the woman he loved. This was simply more than he could endure.

He got up. "I've got work to do."

* * *

Amelia had thought that things had been bad after the fight. But after the scandalous stories that started circulating in the notorious pink memos, it seemed as if her life had taken a new low. Zelgadis could barely look at her anymore. She kept telling herself it would blow over, but at times like these she wondered if it would have been kinder if she had just let him go. She had thought that eventually he would adjust to court life, and that the court would embrace him. Well, as much as they embraced anyone. But with each passing month things grew more and more toxic. And Amelia's belief that two people who loved each other could work through anything was becoming increasingly under siege.

To distract herself she focused on planning Lina's baby shower. Yet all too soon it seemed that the day came and went, and after the party was over Amelia found herself in her room feeling empty and questioning every life choice she had ever made.

She heard someone enter her chambers, and then Zelgadis calling, "Amelia?"

She braced herself for bad news, "In here."

He entered the bedroom, "I found the snitch."

Amelia sat up straighter, "Who?"

"Countess Zora." Zelgadis said, "But for the life of me I can't think of why she would want to embarrass us."

Amelia groaned, "It's my fault. She caught me at a bad moment and said something rather mean. And I threw her off a committee she enjoyed being on. I suppose this is her revenge."

Zelgadis stared at her, stupefied. "W-well, what are we going to do?"

Amelia took a deep breath. He wasn't going to like this, "Nothing."

"Nothing? You can't be serious."

Amelia frowned, "She's a Countess, by birthright and marriage. She has powerful allies. Her lands are prosperous and she and her husband have been instrumental in assisting us with passing needed reforms. I know she's not a pleasant person, but if we continue to escalate this it will blow up on us."

He stared at her in disbelief and she sighed, "Look, blame me, okay? I shouldn't have snapped at her and I shouldn't have thrown her off the committee." She smiled sadly, "What's that thing they say about karma being a bitch? I should probably just go and invite her back to the Events Committee."

"No, not after she dragged us through the mud!"

"This is how diplomacy works." Amelia said.

His eyes hardened, "Well I've had enough of it!"

He moved towards the door, and Amelia's panic rose, "Zel, what are you doing?"

"I'll see you later!"

* * *

"Amelia?" Phil said as Amelia raced into his office.

"Everybody out!" she cried as his advisors looked at her in surprise.

Yet everyone froze and blinked in confusion. She wanted to scream in frustration. Fortunately Phil beat her to it, "You heard my daughter, everyone take a break!"

Amelia felt a little foolish as one by one everyone got up to leave. She might as well scream that she was coming to talk to her father about issues of a sensitive nature so the eavesdroppers could come out. But this simply could not wait. Finally the last advisor left, and Amelia ran and hugged Phil.

"Is everything all right?" he asked as he hugged her back.

"No." she said. And then she whispered into his ear, "I need you to find some mission to send Zel away on. Anything. He needs to get away from court, before he does something unjust."

"I see." Phil said. "I have just the thing."

Amelia waited nervously as Phil called back his advisors and sent a page to find Zelgadis and send him into his office. Amelia had been scared that Zelgadis would have already taken action, but she could tell as soon as she saw him that he hadn't. She felt some relief. "Ah, Zel." Phil said, "Just the man we need! The Kingdoms of Dils and Lyzeille are on the verge of war, and they requested that we send someone to Atlas City to negotiate a peace. I believe you are the one to do this!"

"Me?" Zelgadis asked. "But given my nature…"

"You have my every confidence."

"Come on, Zel." Amelia said as she grabbed his hand, "Let's get to the library and brush up on your knowledge of the situation. There's not much time!"

"She's right. The party will leave tomorrow." Phil said.

Zelgadis looked at both of them suspiciously but sighed, "Fine."

* * *

Zelgadis drew into himself as he heard footsteps approach. Soon he recognized Gourry headed his way. If the word of their latest scandal had ever reached Lina and Gourry, neither of them had said anything, and Zelgadis was fairly certain it was because they didn't know what to say. While neither of them read the pink memos, the latest news about them was so salacious Zelgadis was certain that everyone in Seyruun knew!

"Hey Zel, where are you going?" Gourry asked.

Zel folded a map and put it back into his knapsack. "The kingdoms of Dils and Lyzeille are having some squabbles. They requested a Seyruun delegate meet them in Atlas City to negotiate an agreement. Phil decided that this would be a good time for me to expand upon my duties."

"Wow, sounds like he really trusts your abilities."

"I suppose." Zel replied lackadaisically as he put the saddle on his horse. He was certain that Amelia had arranged to get him out of Seyruun before he took matters into his own hands with Countess Zora. And he was also determined that it wouldn't work. By the time he would return to Seyruun, he would have a plan to ruin her.

He felt the swordsman study him for a moment before asking, "So, is everything okay? You don't sound too excited."

If Gourry knew, he wished he would just be open with it. But then if he didn't know, Zelgadis would rather keep him in the dark. Then at least someone wouldn't know about how pitiful his sex life had been at Tealblu.

"I am, to be on the open road again at least. But being in a room full of stuffy delegates who are going to be at each others' throats." He gave a wry laugh, "I thought I knew what I was getting into when I married a princess. I was a fool. You can't make anyone happy in politics, much less everyone. Everyone always knows your private business. And you're always having to watch your appearance! I don't know how Amelia keeps such a positive outlook on life while dealing with it all!"

"May be you should ask her how she does it. I'm sure she could give you some good pointers." Gourry suggested.

 _I know exactly what she'll say. And it won't help._ Not wanting to argue with Gourry he simply said, "I suppose."

Gourry's eyes narrowed. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it when Amelia walked up. "All ready to go?" she asked cheerfully. Zelgadis regarded her. She was wearing her mask. She couldn't fool him. She acted cheerful, but she was really sad and concerned.

"Yes. Just waiting on the all clear from the Captain and then we'll be off." He replied, and he wondered if he shouldn't even bother returning to Seyruun. Amelia could simply lie and say their marriage was never consummated and end it without him. She could continue her life and would eventually find happiness again. He could go back to an environment and a life he felt comfortable with. It might be for the best.

"See you Zel," Gourry said as he left to give them some privacy.

Amelia touched his arm and he pulled away. She sighed as she dropped the pretense, "We won't see each other for some time. Don't shut me out now."

"Don't tell me what to do." He snapped as he led his horse out to where the other members of the party were gathering, deliberately forcing them in public so she would have to pretend that things were alright between them and he wouldn't have to listen to her.

"Duke Zelgadis." Captain Leung said as he approached.

"Ready to leave when you are." Zelgadis said as he mounted his horse without taking the time to kiss Amelia good bye. And without looking at her to see her expression.

"Take care of my husband, Captain." Amelia said.

"Will do, Princess." Captain Leung assured her.

"Take care, Zel." She said as she grabbed his hand, "And return to me."

He found himself starting to fight a sudden urge to cry. What if he really did decide to leave? Could he really live with himself if the last time he was with her he was so cold? He brought her hand up and kissed it, "Good bye, my dearest."

And then he spurred his horse onward to follow the others without taking a moment to look back.


	7. Chapter 7

Even though Zelgadis had been successful in helping Dils and Lyzeille to avoid war, the thought of returning to Seyruun, where the vultures would be swirling to eat away at his victory and bury it under the sleaze of his now public sexual difficulties, was unbearable. Being away from court had been such a welcome relief that the thought of going back was unendurable. And even though he missed Amelia, it was not enough to overbalance how much he hated palace life. Now that he had completed his mission, the only question was when would be the best time to flee.

He looked at the men in his retinue. Captain Leung. Harvel. Ed. Zonri. He wondered if they would try to stop him from leaving, and whether he should do it now or later, when everyone was asleep. He inhaled and remembered a time when he would just take off own without worrying about what the others would do. He had to admit, he had changed. And he also had to admit, it had been for the better.

Amelia, Lina and Gourry had shown him acceptance and friendship, something he never would have expected to find outside of the people who had known him when he was fully human. And to this day they were still his fiercest allies. By running away he wouldn't only be ruining things between him and Amelia forever, but his chances of being able to stop by Zefiel City without getting an earful from Lina and looks of barely contained disappointment from Gourry were nil. And while he liked to believe it was possible to live alone, humans needed one another to survive. It was unavoidable. By leaving Seyruun and the people he had forged connections to with great difficulty, he would be starting all over again from scratch.

Which was worse?

The smell of something burning tickled Zelgadis' nostrils and he forced himself to become more alert as he scanned his surroundings. A sign by the road told them they would soon be in the town of Esouh. While it was possible they were having a bonfire, Zelgadis couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong, and when he also detected the smell of blood and viscera, he realized his instincts had been correct.

Up ahead Zonri called for a halt, and Zelgadis drew his sword. "They've been attacked." He heard Captain Leung say.

Zelgadis waited for a sense of bloodlust as he scanned his surroundings, but none was there. "Looks like they've already left." Harzel, one of the soldiers, said as he dismounted and started to look around.

"Let's not jump to conclusions." Zelgadis said, "Keep your guard up."

Cautiously they entered the town, and Zelgadis kept his eyes and ears peeled. Whatever had happened had been a massacre. Bloodied bodies lay strewn in the streets, some of townspeople, others of men who were unmistakably bandits. One of the buildings was burning, and glass and debris littered the streets. There didn't seem to be many people left. "I've never seen bandits attack a town like this." Captain Leung observed. "Usually they stick to the roads."

"I've seen it," Zelgadis said, "Either this town tried to stand up to them and the bandits wanted to teach them a lesson, or they were rounding people up to sell into slavery."

"I found a survivor!" someone yelled, and Zelgadis, the only one in the group who could use a healing spell, went over to help.

Soon he had set up a makeshift hospital for the survivors, not that there were many. And unfortunately most were beyond his capabilities. You would think that given that they were from the White Magic capital someone in their party would have been able to perform Resurrection, but the sad truth was that people who had a magical capacity high enough to do so were few and far between. Zelgadis had just pulled a blanket over a someone who hadn't made it when he heard the sounds of a child throwing a tantrum. He looked up to see Harzel coming his way carrying a small boy, a child who was doing his best to break free and run away and kicking up quite the racket.

"Looks like we have a fighter." Zelgadis observed as Harzel reached him.

Harzel set the boy down and the child instantly tried to bolt. "Hey now." Zelgadis said, "Let me look at you."

"He's bleeding. I can't tell from where."

Zelgadis and Harzel both worked to keep the boy steady so Zelgadis could examine him and he eventually found a nasty gash on his arm. "RECOVERY!" he said.

At first the boy struggled more in protest, but when he realized that the spell was taking the pain away he started to calm down. "There now." Zelgadis said, "You're going to be just fine. Now let me look you over and see if you have any more injuries."

Harzel laughed, "Injuries? He won't know what you're talking about! When they're that young you use words like 'ouchies' and 'boo-boos.'"

"Well, you're a lucky boy. It looks like there are no more…ouchies." Zelgadis said as he met Harzel's gaze and shook his head in mild exasperation.

Zelgadis finished healing the child and was going to leave to see how the other survivors were doing, but was stopped when the boy grabbed his leg and wrapped his limbs around it like an octopus. Zelgadis looked down, surprised as Harzel laughed, "Looks like you made a friend!"

Zelgadis felt caught off guard. He wasn't used to children liking him. Usually they were too scared of his appearance. But if Zelgadis had to guess, he would say that his use of the healing spell had been enough to counteract any fear the child may have had of him. Cautiously he bent down to pick the boy up and was surprised as he relaxed against him and wrapped his arms around his neck. Zelgadis felt his heart race under the knowledge that this traumatized child was trusting him to protect him while he let his guard down.

Zelgadis' eyes widened as he felt a surge of emotions rise within him as he put a hand on the boys' back. "Does anyone have any idea what his name is? Or where his parents are?"

"Dead, I reckon." Harzel said, "There were two bodies in the cabin I found him in. Looked like his mother and father."

Zelgadis looked at the two living survivors. "Does anyone know his name? Or his family?"

"He was the Baker families' son." One of the men said, "Can't remember what they called him, though. His parents were all the family he had."

Zelgadis whispered to the boy, "Can you tell us your name?"

But he just clung to Zelgadis in a manner that Zelgadis found to be utterly enduring. With a start Zelgadis realized he was beginning to become attached to the child.

"I grew up here and would visit from time to time." Ed said as he walked up to the group after helping to put out the fire. "I think his name is Benny."

"Benny, is that your name?" but the child gave no indication of whether Zelgadis was right or wrong, other than sucking his thumb. "Well, we have to call him something."

"Are these people ready to be moved?" Captain Leung asked, "I want to leave here and get them to Garam soon in case the bandits decide to come back."

Zelgadis looked at the survivors. Including Benny, only three had made it. "They're good to go."

Zelgadis mounted his horse with Benny in front of him, and the group set off. As they got closer to Garam he was alarmed to discover that he was reluctant to give Benny up, a feeling that grew as they entered town and made their way to the city's center. They found the hospital and he dismounted, still carrying Benny, who clung to him tightly as he looked at the strange town distrustfully while they entered the hospital and Captain Leung explained the situation to the healers.

"I'll come and take him." A kind looking woman said as she reached her hands out for Benny.

Zelgadis felt a lump form in his throat and he attempted to place Benny in her arms, but was stopped when the child clung even more tightly and screamed in protest. The woman laughed a little, "Well, it looks like you have things under control here."

Zelgadis was stunned, "Shouldn't we make inquiries? See if he has any family here?"

"We will." She said, "But I think he would be better off staying with you for the night. He's been through an ordeal and I don't want to further the trauma by taking him away from someone he trusts."

"Oh," Zelgadis said as the implications of what she was saying sunk in. What if Benny had no other family? And there was nowhere for him to go? "Is there any place I can get this boy a bath?"

"Two doors to your right." She said. "If you need anything, my name is Carlotta."

"Thanks," he said as he made his way down the hallway and tried to sort through his feelings.

He opened the door and found a small tub and a pump sink. "Sorry, I'm going to have to set you down."

Benny let him do it, but instantly grabbed his leg and held on tight. Zelgadis smiled a little. He'd never thought a child would be able to get over their fright over his appearance to like him, let alone cling to him. But there Benny was, doing just that as he filled the tub. He used a spell to heat the water to a comfortable temperature and then helped Benny out of his clothes and put him in the tub and started cleaning the blood and dirt off of him.

He was a cute child, and while Zelgadis wasn't good at estimating ages, he would put him at about three, with blonde hair and green eyes that stared at the world through a veil of shock. "You don't talk much, do you?" he asked.

Benny said nothing, and Zelgadis decided that a quiet child suited him well, especially when he thought of Gracia's children, who chattered incessantly. And then Zelgadis wondered why he was even thinking this way, as if he was assessing Benny to see if he was son material!

Benny started to relax as he started to pat the water. "Benny, are we right? Is that your name?"

Benny gave no indication either way. Instead, he splashed Zelgadis. At first Zelgadis was angry, "Wha…"

But then he noticed that Benny was smiling at him a little. Wasn't splashing something that children did to play? "Take that." Zelgadis said as he splashed him back.

Benny laughed, and Zelgadis felt his heart take flight as he realized he would do anything to hear that sound again. By the time he'd finished giving Benny a bath Zelgadis was just as drenched as the child. He bundled him up in towels and went to find a healer to see if they had any clothes for him.

Benny was starting to fall asleep by the time Carlotta brought them some clothing. It was slightly big, but it would keep him warm. Zelgadis was given directions to a room where he could let the boy sleep. It was a small room with a bed and a chair, but it looked cozy enough. Zelgadis put Benny to bed and pulled the covers up tight. But as soon as he made to leave he found his hand grabbed tightly. Zelgadis looked at him, startled, and sat down in the chair. "It's all right, I'll keep watch."

Benny looked at him for a moment, but then, satisfied that he wouldn't leave, he closed his eyes. And Zelgadis felt no compulsion to leave as he watched the boy sleep as he sat there, thinking, and the more he thought, the more he started to tremble under the weight of the emotions his memories kicked up. He thought about those first few horrible days after his own parents had died. He thought of how scared he'd been at first to let Rezo out of his sight in case something horrible befell his great-grandfather. Because if something happened to Rezo, who would take care of him?

And who would take care of Benny? Garam was certainly large enough to have an orphanage, but how much care would he actually get there? Orphanages were places where the children outnumbered the adults and they had to fight for love and attention. While Benny's physical needs would likely be taken care of, his chances of receiving the parental love he needed were small. And the thought was strangely painful to Zelgadis.

As he watched Benny as he slept he felt as though he were watching a younger version of himself. There was something profoundly humbling about it. Once Amelia had asked him to imagine how his life would have been different if someone who cared for his interests had raised him after his parents died instead of Rezo. He usually thought engaging in such exercises was a waste of time and would leave you trapped in a world of would-bes. But now he was thinking about it, and hard. Because he could be that person for Benny.

All the same, something held him back. It was big decision, and not one to take lightly. And besides, they still could find some relatives for the boy. Zelgadis resolved to give it no more thought for the night, and leaned back and closed his eyes.

* * *

"Is there any word on Benny's family?" Zelgadis asked the next morning as he carried Benny down to breakfast.

"None. No one is coming forward." Carlotta said.

Zelgadis felt a measure of relief, and went to join his party at the breakfast table. "When are we leaving, then?" he asked as he put Benny in a chair and sat down beside him.

"After breakfast." Captain Leung said.

Zelgadis frowned. There wasn't much time to decide what to do for Benny, or to wait to see if anyone came forward. Of course, now could also be the time to tell the captain he wouldn't be coming home with them, and he could stay with Benny until his family had been tracked down. He loaded up his plate with food and one for Benny and started to eat. It took him a moment to realize that Benny wasn't.

"Hey now, you'd better start eating. I bet you're hungry!"

But Benny just stared distastefully at his plate. "Benny." Zelgadis said firmly, but the child was unmoved.

Harzel, who was sitting on Benny's other side, turned to face them and smiled as he picked up a forkful of eggs, "Well, if you don't, I will!"

Benny suddenly cried out and grabbed the fork back from Harzel and stuffed the eggs in his mouth, glaring at the other man reproachfully. "Sorry, buddy." Harzel said, but he winked conspiratorially at Zelgadis.

Zelgadis was taken aback for a moment. Ouchies versus injuries. Tricks for getting kids to eat. For that matter, Zelgadis wasn't even that sure he knew how to play with children. How could be possibly think he could be a father to this child? He had none of the instincts or knowledge!

Well, he certainly could not alone. No, if he wasn't going to do this he would need to do it with Amelia.

He thought about Amelia. She wanted to adopted. It fit her notions of justice. Among the Seyruun royalty it was even encouraged to some extent. He didn't think Amelia would have any objections. And besides, Amelia would be a loving mother who could also provide him the guidance he needed on how to be a father. He never had any doubt about that. Amelia needed someone to dote on and Benny needed a mother's care. That Amelia and Benny needed each other seemed an unavoidable conclusion.

But there was one problem. It would require that he go back to Seyruun, and all the nastiness of the court. And Zelgadis still was not sure that he could do that. Much less expose Benny to it.

But then, if he had Benny, he would at least have a companion who truly did not belong to the court. Benny would be an outsider, joined by legal ties and not blood, just like he was. Yet Zelgadis had chosen it willingly. He would be thrusting it on Benny. And something about that did not seem right.

So after breakfast Zelgadis picked Benny up and walked over to Carlotta. "Please see that he finds a good, loving home. Not an orphanage."

"Of course." She said as she reached her hands out.

But once again, Benny wrapped his little arms around Zelgadis' neck and howled. And Zelgadis was shocked as he felt as though someone were driving a knife into his heart. Never before had he felt so attuned to someone else's emotional state, and instead of giving him to Carlotta, he found himself pulling Benny closer as he rushed to soothe him. And that was when he realized that he did have it within him to love a child who wasn't his own.

Meanwhile, Carlotta smiled knowingly, "I think he's found his loving home."

"But…but what if he has family out there?" Zelgadis asked.

"Even if he does, what are the chances that they are in a position to take in an extra child and have the motivation to do so?" Ed asked. "People will take blood in, but begrudgingly."

Zelgadis patted Benny's back and reflected that even if blood took blood in willingly, they didn't always do it with the best of intentions. And Zelgadis had the body to prove it. As Benny settled down and nuzzled against him, Carlotta said, "Smart man. Esouh is one of those towns few people ever leave, so most likely his entire family died there. He's lost enough people. I can't begin to imagine the damage that will happen if he loses the first person he trusted after his family was killed in front of him."

Zelgadis inhaled sharply as the weight of the position he had found himself in fell upon him. But it was unavoidable. They were right. He couldn't further traumatize Benny by abandoning him. But more importantly, he didn't want to abandon him. He wanted to give him that loving home. He had wanted a child so desperately, and it was becoming clear to him that Benny was that child. The fact that Ed and Carlottas' words were coming as a relief to him meant that he wanted Benny as much as Benny wanted him. Yet he was still terrified. Faster than he could ever have imagined, he had become a father. And while he had been ready, he'd expected a nine month lead up to an infant, not an instant toddler.

He didn't feel ready. And he knew could not do this on his own. He would need Amelia by his side. He was sure she would agree. Hell, if they could stay at Tealblu year round he wouldn't even have any qualms about it.

But Amelia was a princess, and she enjoyed the power she had at court to pursue her agenda of justice. Yet perhaps, with a child, things wouldn't be so bad at court. Their desire to have one had been what had led to their humiliation at the court after all. By bringing a child into his union with Amelia, the pressure would be off to produce a heir. And given time, the courtiers would find something else to talk about. They always did.

Feeling an optimism he never thought he'd feel again about life in Seyruun, he resolved himself to making it work.

* * *

Amelia walked back to her apartments and wondered what to do with herself for the rest of the day. For once, it seemed, she had no afternoon or evening appointments. But she was feeling reluctant to go and stay in her chambers. It would be a reminder that Zelgadis wasn't there. And that she wouldn't be too surprised if, after everything that had happened, he never returned.

 _Why did I send him away?_ She asked herself, and then she shook her head, _It was the right thing to do!_

She opened the door to her chambers and took in the empty sitting room. _But still._

She walked to the window, realizing that she needed to do something to keep her from sitting in her room brooding. Then she smiled. She and Lina usually hit town for shopping trips when Lina visited, but somehow or another it just hadn't happened this time around. _Yet!_

Amelia swiftly changed into her traveling clothes and then sent a page to gather some henchmen for their trip into town. She was fairly confident that Lina would be chomping at the bit to get out. Amelia knocked at the door, and Lina opened it, looking huge. "Hey Amelia, what's up?" she asked.

"How about a shopping trip in town?" Amelia asked, "Or are you too pregnant now to do anything but sit on your butt?"

"The hell I am!" Lina said as she waddled over to where her shoes were, "But I may be too pregnant to pick up my shoes."

Amelia swooped down and handed them to her, and soon they were out of the palace and in town. Fortunately the shopping district was just what Amelia needed to take her mind off her woes. It was noisy, crowded, and there was plenty to look at and buy. And as always, Lina's chatter was a welcome distraction.

"That store had some great stuff!" Lina commented to Amelia as they left, their packages carried by some royal henchmen. "I'm glad you suggested this. I really needed to get out."

"I'll say. Life in the palace can get so stifling." Amelia replied.

"At least you have stuff to do. I've been bored stiff. Hey, is that an ice cream stand?"

"Amelia!" a voice rang through the crowd.

Lina and Amelia exchanged a glance before turning around to find Zelgadis and the rest of the delegation that had left a month ago riding up to them. Relief swept through Amelia, and all she could think about was that, after everything that had happened, he'd actually returned! She broke into a grin as she started waving.

"Where did he come from?" Lina asked.

"Huh?" Amelia said, and then she saw it. She'd been so caught up in her relief that her husband had come home she'd not noticed the small boy riding the horse with him. "Oh. I don't know."

Zel pulled up to where they were and dismounted, and Amelia was so relieved that he was back it seemed to take an eternity for him to reach the ground and then he had to get the child safely off the horse. As soon as the boy was on solid ground Amelia leapt into his arms and kissed him passionately. She expected him to tell her to get off of him. Displays of public affection were hard for him, but dammit, she'd been so scared he wouldn't come back!

But then exhilaration ran through her when, instead of pushing her away, he actually pulled her closer as he returned the kiss enthusiastically! Her heart pounded, and she wondered what had wrought this change. Part of her wanted to ask, but the other part was enjoying being kissed so passionately and without abandon too much.

Eventually they parted. Amelia beamed at him as he grabbed her hand and indicated the child. "There's someone I'd like you to meet. We think his name is Benny."

"You think?" Amelia asked as she wondered how he could not know.

Zel nodded solemnly, "While we were on our way back we stumbled upon the ruins of Esouh, a small town. Bandits had raided it and slaughtered most of the townspeople."

"What?" Amelia exclaimed.

"Great," Lina muttered, "I can't hunt bandits for nine months and they crawl from the woodwork and destroy peoples' lives. See, I always told you guys that what I did was a public service and I should be thanked for it."

"Anyway," Zel continued, slightly annoyed at the interruption, "He was one of the few survivors. He's an orphan now. One of the people in our retinue came from Esouh and visited regularly, and was fairly sure his name was Benny, but we don't know for sure. He's been so traumatized that he's not said a word since we found him."

Amelia felt her eyes fill with tears as she remembered what life was like after her mother was assassinated. She knelt down so she was eye level with Benny and wondered what she could do to make things right. "You poor thing!"

"I kept thinking about what you said about adopting." Zel said quietly, "And I thought we could really help him. We've made some inquiries to see if we can find any relatives, but so far nothing. And if you don't want to I'm sure we can find a good family for him in Seyruun. But I've become attached to him."

Amelia's eyes burned sapphire blue flames and she bunched her hand in a fist, "Well of course we can provide him with a family! It's the least we can do to help someone who has been dealt such an unjust blow so early in life! We'll do whatever it takes!"

Lina smiled as Amelia continued in that vein, "Look what you started, I haven't heard her utter a Justice speech since I got here!"

Zelgadis felt a warmth spread through him. It had been a long time since he'd felt as through his being with Amelia had brought her happiness as opposed to sorrow. And by seeing her happy again, he was reminded of all the reasons outside of obligation that he had married her. "I'm relieved to hear it. Things have been so stressful for her this past year that she wasn't quite herself. Besides, I've always found her speeches rather bemusing."


	8. Chapter 8

Amelia had always envisioned that she would be holding her child when she presented him to her father. She thought she'd been in bed, tired but glowing, propped up by pillows, holding a calm and contented infant. And even when she accepted that she would likely have to adopt, she still thought she'd be the one holding her child. She was certain there would be this instant bond between them. She loved all children after all, and formed connections with other people's children easily. Zelgadis, meanwhile, was slow to warm up to people. She had imagined having to be patient with him as he struggled to form a bond.

So the reality that Benny had bonded with Zelgadis before her was quite the shock. But Amelia decided it was for the best. She could bond with anyone. But the question of what would have happened if Zelgadis had never grown to love their adopted child always loomed in the back of Amelia's mind.

Still, Amelia's overall happiness was tinged with an air of sadness as they walked to her father's office with Benny in Zelgadis' arms and not hers. And with a start, she realized she was feeling a little jealous. And she was further appalled to realize that she was jealous of both Benny and Zelgadis.

"Zel! You're back." Gourry said as he stood outside Phil's office.

Zelgadis managed to wave while holding Benny as Amelia asked, "Everything all right?"

"There are reports of an increase in bandit activity. I'm just here as a precaution" Gourry said as he looked at Benny curiously.

"You're not going to ask who the boy is?" Lina asked as she rubbed her lower back.

Gourry stared at him for a moment, "Isn't this one of Gracia or Sylphiel's children?"

"Same as always." Zelgadis said with a smile, "And unfortunately you're right about the increase in bandits. This is Benny, a survivor of an attack. Amelia and I are adopting him."

"Oh!" Gourry said as he smiled in surprise, and Amelia started to chide herself for her mixed feelings. This _was_ a happy occasion! "Congrats! I guess you want to see Phil."

"Yes." Amelia said as butterflies started to form in her stomach. This was really happening. She was about to present her father with her son and heir! "And we're going to need your help moving things. Miss Lina and I bought a lot of stuff today."

"Sounds like fun." Gourry said as he opened the door and called out, "Hey Phil, your family is here."

It was terribly informal, but Amelia enjoyed the break in the stiff formalities Lina and Gourry always brought to the palace. Phil looked up from his desk. Gracia was seated close to him. "Amelia!" he said as stood up, "Zel, glad you're back."

"The mission was a success." Zelgadis reported, "Dils and Lyzeille will not go to war."

"I knew you were just the person to do it." Phil said.

"And," Amelia cut in before Zelgadis could. She may not be holding him, but she wanted to be the one to tell him, "Zel found this orphaned child in a town that was massacred by bandits. And Zel and I have decided to take him in as our son."

"Really?" Phil asked as his eyes widened as he got up, "Congratulations."

He walked over to hug Amelia, and she felt a massive sense of relief that she had finally fulfilled an obligation she was unsure she ever would when she married Zelgadis. He then walked over to Zel and clasped him on the shoulder as he looked at the child, who cowered away from the giant man. "What is he called?"

"Benny."

"He's cute." Gracia said, "Soon he'll be wrecking the palace alongside my boys."

"Not if I have anything to say about it," Zelgadis muttered.

"We'll have a celebration at dinner," Phil said, "Even though it won't be official for a year I guess."

"Why not?" Zelgadis asked.

"To give blood relatives time to come forward and claim him." Gracia said, and Amelia felt a hand grip her heart. But surely it wouldn't happen! And then she realized with horror that she was wishing all his relatives dead and gone. "And then there's all that paperwork."

It took Amelia a moment to find her voice and Zelgadis looked terrified. "Well, it will give us time to plan the biggest and best celebration of the formalization of his adoption ever."

* * *

"Put that toy box against that wall." Lina directed.

"You do know this is our room to organize." Zelgadis said even as he put the toy box where Lina directed with Benny trailing him the whole way.

"You asked for my help." She said as she stretched, emphasizing her enormous belly. "This is the only way I can help right now."

Amelia started sorting through the toys, clothes and supplies they had bought while they were shopping, "And we appreciate it."

"I think that's everything." Gourry said as he looked around the room. For so long it had sat empty and unused, but now it was filled with a bed, drawers, and toys. Benny, who upon reflection, likely had not had a room of his own, looked around from behind Zelgadis' knee, his eyes wide in surprise as if he couldn't believe this was all for him.

"So, are you going to track down a nanny next?" Lina said as she eyed the smaller room next door that was reserved for nannies.

"No," Amelia said, "Down the road perhaps. But we want some time to take care of him on our own so he bonds with us first and not her."

 _Or more specifically, me._ Amelia thought to herself as she stared at Benny who was still clinging to Zelgadis' legs. Benny who did not seem to want to have anything to do with her. She was not going to resort to a nanny until they had that connection!

"I'm still amazed at how much the royals in Seyruun take care of their own children," Gourry commented as he wrapped an arm around Lina.

"We believe it makes disputes over the throne less likely if family raises family." Amelia explained.

"Not to bring a storm cloud in, but considering Alfred and Randy, I wonder if that works that well." Zelgadis said.

"Well," Amelia said irritably, "I'm sure it would be a lot worse if their parents weren't so involved with them!"

"By the way," Zelgadis said, and then he blushed a bit as he looked at the floor, "Gourry, could you help me move Amelia and mine's bed?"

"Your bed?" Gourry asked, "Sure, but why?"

Amelia felt her face go red and Zelgadis looked at the ground "I'd rather not say. And you'd rather not know."

"Oh," Gourry said as he exchanged a befuddled look with Lina, "all right then."

As Zelgadis and Gourry moved into the bedroom Benny started to follow them. Amelia gently grabbed him, "Why don't you stay with me while they do that? We can play with your new toys!"

Benny screamed and tore himself from her and ran after Zelgadis. Amelia stood there, feeling winded, and Lina put her hand on her shoulder, "Give him time. He's been through a lot."

"Yes." Amelia agreed quietly, and then she started to organize the nursery with a vengeance while Lina chattered incessantly.

"The bed's all moved." Gourry announced as he walked back in with Zelgadis and Benny a few minutes later. "Anything else we can help you with?"

"I think that's it." Amelia said as she looked at Zelgadis, who nodded. "Thank you for all your help."

"Don't mention it. How long until dinner?"

"Two hours." Lina said.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" he asked.

"Nap." She said.

"Nap." He agreed.

"Enjoy!" Amelia said as they left.

"You, too!"

Amelia turned around to see Benny looking around the room at all of his new toys with a wide eyed wonder, and it was clear that he'd never seen so many goodies before. Zelgadis sat on the floor and asked, "Hey, you want to play with this?" as he held out a toy wagon, and Amelia felt her heart melt as Benny went up and examined the toy.

Amelia sat down beside Zelgadis and said, "I think we have some horses for that wagon."

But Benny had lost interest, as his sight had fallen on a toy clown. He ran up and picked it up, alternating his gaze between the clown and Zelgadis with a smile on his face. Amelia noted that he was a cute little boy, and between his angelic blonde curls and innocent green eyes he was certainly endearing. The clown entertained him for a few seconds, and then he found a pile of blocks and started to stack them. Zelgadis smiled as he grabbed Amelia's hand, and she felt all of her doubts and insecurities wash away as he said, "Ours."

"Ours." She agreed.

* * *

Zelgadis smiled at Benny as he sat calmly on his lap at dinner while Gracia's children ran wild. Zelgadis felt himself practically beaming at how well Benny behaved compared to those brats. Okay, Zelgadis would have been happier if Benny had eaten a bit more rather than moving his food around on his plate, but at least that was not disruptive…

"En garde!" Travis yelled as he grabbed a butter knife and pointed it at Sean.

"Take that!" Sean replied as he blocked the knife and the two commenced with a duel, which ended with Travis knocking Sean backward on the table where he knocked over a bowl of ketchup.

Suddenly Benny started screaming as he turned and buried his head into Zelgadis' chest. "Benny?" Zelgadis asked, mystified, "What's wrong?"

"He's just tired from a long trip," Sylphiel said kindly, "Best thing you can do is put him to bed."

"Oh," Zelgadis said as he did his best not to blush in embarrassment over the fuss Benny was causing. And at his own celebration dinner, too!

Zelgadis got up and he felt Amelia join him, and together they walked to their apartments. Benny continued to scream, and Zelgadis found himself looking at the floor as they passed people. "I don't understand." He said.

Somehow Amelia managed to hear him, "All children tantrum." She said.

"I guess." He replied, but he thought his child would be better than that!

He was relieved when they got to their apartments and into Benny's room. Benny continued to cling to him tightly, and his grip somehow even got tighter as he laid him on the bed. "Benny, you have to let go." Zelgadis said.

"Why don't you lay down with him while I read?" Amelia asked as she got out a book.

It took some time, but eventually they got him to sleep. Both tiptoed out of the room and closed the door quietly and then looked at each other, enthused by their accomplishment. He grabbed her and kissed her tenderly, and he noticed that she was starting to steer him to the bedroom. But he wasn't ready for that yet. There was still one more thing to confront.

"Amelia, I had something to tell you." Zelgadis said.

"Oh?" Amelia asked. "Can it wait?"

"It won't take long." He said even as he sat on the couch, "And then we can pick up where we left off."

Amelia sighed as she took a seat beside him, but knew he was not one to put off conversations, "What is it?"

"I don't want my royal duties anymore."

"What?" she asked, alarmed.

"I'm not cut out for this." He said.

"But you just successfully helped two nations avoid a war!"

"True, but I'm not cut out for the rumors and intrigue that actually go on in the court. And having a child isn't going to change that."

Amelia looked at him, searchingly, as she wondered once more if he would have returned if he hadn't found Benny. "What does this mean for us then?"

"Just because we're married doesn't mean we have to do the same thing. Look at Lina and Gourry. When they're in Zefiel City he teaches swordplay while she conducts research for the Sorcerer's Guild. We could be like that." He explained, and Amelia bit back her retort that stuff like that worked well for the common people, but not for nobles.

"What do you have in mind then?" she asked.

"I have a few ideas on other projects I can do that would be a better use of my talents but keep me out of the spotlight. All of them can be done outside of the palace but in the capital city. I could wake up in the morning, go to work, come back in time for dinner."

Amelia bit her lip, uncertain about what he was proposing. But he was right about the burdens of life in the spotlight being too much for him, even if having to explain his absence from royal events would put a large burden on her. "Well, I guess we'd better think of something then." She pulled him close to her and rested her head on his chest as she wondered if she should ask what was weighing on her mind. If he would even be here still if it weren't for Benny. And that if he was willing to go to these measures to make it work because of him, well, why wasn't she enough?

"I love you, Amelia." He said as he started to kiss her.

But as he did she couldn't stop thinking of all the heroic romance novels she loved. The tales of men who would do anything for the women they loved. The men who would move kingdoms to be with their ladies. But somehow, she'd ended up being the one to always chase and pursue him. To ask him repeatedly to come home with her, only to have him turn her down year after year. And when he finally agreed to marry her, it was in the devastation of learning about the dark paths of where his quest for his cure would lead him. It was as though he had settled.

And while she did believe he loved her, she was distraught to realize as he kissed her that it was not the overwhelming passionate love that she had grown up reading about. He'd felt that for his cure, but not her. She had been second in his life for so long until he let it go, and then when she was finally first she wasn't enough to make him happy. But now that Benny was here he was willing to move mountains to make his marriage to her work.

Once again she was second to Benny in his life.

 _Stop this, Amelia!_ She told herself firmly as she tried to rekindle the feelings of exuberance she'd had when watching Zelgadis and Benny play earlier as she focused on returning his kisses. But it took far more effort than she would like to admit it should for her to get into the right mentality.

* * *

Amelia wasn't sure how long she had been asleep when she was abruptly roused by Benny's screams. She and Zelgadis both ran out of bed and into his room, where he was running around manically as he wailed viciously. Zelgadis stood in the doorway, staring in disbelief, while Amelia knelt down and caught him by the shoulders, "It's okay." She said.

She was about to tell him it was just a dream when he shoved her away. Zelgadis finally went into action and scooped him up, and Benny quieted a little. Zelgadis walked over to the rocking chair and sat down in it as he rubbed Benny's back. Amelia sat on the bed. "I've got it, you go back to sleep." He said.

"I want to help." Amelia said, "And I've got an idea."

Amelia started singing him a lullaby, and then lullaby after lullaby as the night grew longer and Benny refused to go back to sleep. Every time they tried to put him to bed he would grab Zelgadis and scream in protest, so Zelgadis would pick him back up and rock him again while Amelia would sing some more. By the time they finally got Benny back to sleep the sun was rising in the horizon.

But they could still get a good hour before breakfast. For one night it would be fine.

Little did they know that it would herald their new nightly routine. Benny would sleep for a few hours and then wake after having a terrible nightmare. Worse, Zelgadis was the only one he would accept for comfort, so they couldn't even trade nights. And while during the day Amelia was easily able to get away to attend her royal duties and her life away from motherhood, Benny would not let Zelgadis out of his sight, something that Zelgadis was having a difficult time dealing with.

"Benny, please, leave me alone for a minute!" Zelgadis said as Benny trailed him from his room to the living room.

But Benny just stared at him with his enormous eyes. Zelgadis sighed, "You have all of those neat toys in your room, go play with them, I'll just be in the living room getting some work done!"

Benny ran up and wrapped his arms around Zel's leg, and Zelgadis felt his skin itch discomfortingly from all the contact. Why wouldn't this kid leave him alone!? At first it was charming, but Zelgadis was not used to having someone constantly with him all the time, and he was starting to find it intrusive and overwhelming. He just wanted a few quiet moments to read and take some notes, but Benny always wanted his attention.

"Benny," Zelgadis snarled, "Play in your room!"

Amelia walked in then, and knelt down and held out her arms, "Hi Benny!" she said.

Benny smiled and waved at her, but didn't run up to her. Amelia sighed, "Need a break?" she asked Zel.

"Please."

"Why don't you play with Mommy?" Amelia asked him as she tried to steer him to his bedroom.

But Benny started to scream in protest. Zelgadis wanted to tell her to just take him so he could have a break, but Amelia beat him to it, "Okay, why don't I grab some toys and we can play together in here while Daddy gets some work done?"

Benny clung to Zegadis's leg possessively as Amelia went in and grabbed the blocks, his favorite toy, and came out and started to stack them. It took a few minutes but eventually he joined her, allowing Zelgadis to have his own body space and get some work done even if he had to put up with the noise.

When they finally got into bed that night Zelgadis confessed, "In some ways things are so much better, and I do love him. But he is driving me insane! He won't let me have a moment to myself! Much less a good night's sleep."

"I know what you mean." Amelia said, though her thoughts were a little bit darker than usual thanks to the sleep deprivation. "But at least he likes you."

"He's warming up to you. He played nicely with you." Zelgadis pointed out.

Amelia bit her tongue. She didn't want to say that she felt that Zelgadis was hogging Benny all to himself, but it felt that way. There just didn't seem to be space for her in their relationship.

"I don't know how I'm ever going to get the school up and running if he won't leave me alone." Zelgadis continued as he started to stroke her hair.

The school. Zelgadis had somehow gotten it into his head that he should open up a school for Shamanist magic and include a program for orphans and the economically disadvantaged. Amelia was baffled at this turn in career plans, but decided to support it, even if she did worry that it was a cover for a round about way for him to get back to research. But Amelia no longer felt secure enough in his affections to rock the boat. At the same time, though, perhaps she could get Zelgadis out of her hair for a bit, allowing her some alone time with Benny so the child could finally see how amazing she was? "Well, why don't you just get out for a bit tomorrow and I'll watch Benny?"

"I don't know…"

"Sometimes we just need to push these things." Amelia said knowingly. "He needs to see that if you leave for a bit you'll return safely."

"Well, if you're sure."

Amelia regretted it as soon as Zelgadis left that following morning. "No!" Benny screamed as he realized that Zelgadis was not taking him with him. And while Amelia was relieved to have finally heard him speak, she had hoped it would be under more positive circumstances.

"Hey, Benny, look at this!" Amelia said as she indicated a box of toys she had brought into the living area, "Let's see what's inside!"

"NO!" Benny screamed as he tried to reach the door handle, but he wasn't quite tall enough. He started to jump as he tried to reach it, screaming hysterically the whole time.

"Daddy will be back." Amelia said as she tried to hug him, but he pushed her away.

"I hate you!" he screamed as he pointed out her, and Amelia's eyes widened as she felt she had been smacked in the gut.

 _What a brat!_ And then she winced at herself for even thinking it.

"Look, we got you some new blocks!" Amelia said as she pulled them from out of the chest. Benny grabbed them and threw them across the room.

Amelia felt her heart race and she wondered what she was doing wrong. Usually children loved her! "Well, let's look at this, then." She said as she pulled out a set of toy soldiers.

But Benny started kicking his legs, stomping on them in the process as he embarked on a temper tantrum the likes of which Amelia had never witnessed before. Nothing she did seemed to calm him as he screamed, howled, punched, and kicked as if possessed. And it went on and on!

Amelia felt crushed, and not for the first time wanted to return him. This was not the child she had wanted. This was not how she wanted motherhood to be. Benny should be throwing a fit because she had left, not Zelgadis! Even after a week, he did not feel like hers!

The tantrum lasted two hours, but he eventually wore himself out and laid down and fell asleep on the floor. He didn't even stir when Amelia picked him up and put him in his bedroom. As she went back to the living room she felt stunned. Was this normal for traumatized children? Would he grow out of this? Surely he would. Surely it would get easier. Surely he would love her one day.

And surely she would love him.

* * *

"So, how's it going?" Lina asked as she grabbed a cup of tea. She had arrived shortly after Amelia had cleaned up the mess in the living room.

Amelia took a long sip of her tea. How could such a question be so loaded? The natural answer was that everything was wonderful. The reality was more complicated. And while she was tempted to lie, she couldn't. "This morning was horrible! He's refused to leave Zel all week and didn't want to have anything to do with me. Finally we decided that Zel had to get out today so I rearranged my schedule to take care of him. Benny screamed for Zel all morning. He finally wore himself out and went to sleep. It wasn't the bonding experience I was hoping for."

"Ouch, that sounds rough."

Amelia nodded, and decided she didn't want to talk about it anymore. And besides, there were good things happening, "It's not all bad. Some things have been wonderful. Zel and I aren't fighting anymore. And the pressure to have a child is gone. At the same time, I really thought he'd like me, and that he'd be speaking by now."

"Give him time." Lina said as she bit into a cookie, "The poor kid's been through a lot."

"I know." Amelia said, "He's been having night terrors every night."

"No wonder you look wiped."

 _You don't know the half of it!_ Amelia though as she smiled wryly, "You don't exactly look so rested yourself."

Lina snorted, "I can't get more than two hours sleep in a stretch now! In some ways I envy you. At least when your child arrived you were well rested. I'm going into late night feedings without having gotten a good night's sleep in months!"

"At least you get the experience of sharing an existence with your baby before he's born." Amelia countered, as the feelings of jealousy returned, "I'll never know what it's like to carry a child. You two get to bond before he's even born!"

"Yeah, you're right. At least you get to keep your body, though. I'm starting to worry that I won't be the same anywhere."

Amelia smiled brightly, "But at least you now have the bust size that you've always wanted."

"If my magic weren't on the fritz I'd fireball you." Lina muttered as she put her feet on the coffee table, moaning slightly as she did.

"Are you okay, Miss Lina?"

"Oh, my back's been killing me! I'm just stretching it out is all."

"Oh, okay. Then I won't ask you to take your feet off my table." They grinned at each other before Amelia continued, "I know it's hard for you now, but I'm still envious. Benny doesn't see me as his mother. Because I'm not. I didn't carry him, and I didn't care for him for as long as he can remember. And he was taken from his mother in the most unjust manner. My mother was assassinated. I know what that's like. And I know I can't replace her. And part of me thinks I'm being idiotic for even trying! Especially after a morning like this. And then I feel horrible for feeling so jealous of her. For being mad that I've already missed the first few years of his life, all of those milestones. You'll get to be there for all of that."

Amelia did not add that she had always been relieved that her father had resisted the pressure to remarry after her mother died so that she had never had to contend with a step-mother, with someone trying to replace her mother. When she thought of it like that, it seemed obvious why Benny hated her.

Lina took of a sip of her tea before saying, "The past is the past, there's no use in moping about it. So you weren't his mom for the first few years of his life, but I'll bet anything that his mother would rather he be raised by someone who can love and provide for him considering she can't rather than the alternatives. Bandits aren't so kind to foundling children you know, it was lucky Zel found him before they did. Kids are resilient, and he'll come around soon. And you need to think about what you can do to help him along."

Amelia smiled, "You're right. It's just, I thought having a child would make everything better. I just didn't think it would be such a huge adjustment."

Lina chuckled, "I guess no matter how you enter parenting, it wrecks havoc with your life."

Amelia looked at Lina, who looked ready to pop, and felt a strange feeling that she could not identify. When Lina had arrived at Seyruun pregnant Amelia thought that her friend would enter the world of parenting before her. How swiftly things had changed was still a bit dizzying. Still, Amelia found herself torn between telling her that it will be so wonderful that she won't even care about the sacrifice and the truth, that it was horrible at times. In the end, she stayed silent.

* * *

There was always a time after the birth of a baby that was filled with peace and tranquility, and the fact that the moments of birth were filled with a rush of activity and chaos, it made the contrast more noticeable. Amelia reflected on how she loved the period as she looked up at Gourry as she finished putting fresh sheets on the bed. The swordsman was sitting on a couch, making faces at his newborn daughter, who he was holding while Lina bathed. Her labor had been long and grueling, but now things were calm and quiet. Sylphiel had even left to return to her family, confident that Amelia could take care of whatever happened next.

"Look, she's sticking her tongue back out at me!" Gourry said with a smile.

"Babies do that, Mr. Gourry." Amelia said.

"Just look at her!" He declared, "She's beautiful. Strange, though, she looks like Luna." He paused for a moment, "Don't tell Lina I said that."

Amelia walked beside him to look at the baby, "Your secret is safe with me."

"Though, I guess Lina and Luna do look alike around the face a little, but their coloring is different."

Amelia just smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. Benny didn't look like either her or Zelgadis, or anyone in their family. While she could wonder about what his birth parents looked like, she really didn't like to think about them. Was that why it was still so hard for her to feel like he really was hers?

Lina came out of the bathroom then, and Amelia walked up to help her, "I wish you called for me." She said.

"I'm fine." Lina said as she got back in bed.

"Take it easy." Gourry said, "If I'd just been through what you had I don't think I'd be walking for weeks!"

"It's a good thing women are made of stronger stuff, then!" Lina said as she leaned over to peer at her daughter nestled in Gourry's arms, "Isn't that right, Lucia?"

Lucia stretched an arm out towards her, and Amelia felt her heart lurch. She yearned for someone so little to reach for her like that. At the moment it seemed as though she had all of the burdens of motherhood with none of the joys. Her son simply did not see her as his mother!

"Better give her back, I think she's hungry." Lina said.

"Do I have to?" Gourry asked, and then Lucia started to cry, "Well that answers that." He said as he handed her to Lina.

After Lucia had been fed, Amelia said, "Why don't you let me take her for a little bit while you two rest. The others should be waking up for breakfast in a few hours, and after they're done I'll bring them down to meet her."

"You sure?" Lina asked.

"Hand her over." Amelia ordered, and Lina did.

Amelia walked out of the bedroom and into the living room and sat on a sofa facing the window, but her eyes were on the baby. She had thought when she first mentioned adopting to Zelgadis that they would adopt a little baby. Not a newborn perhaps, but a few months old or so. But now they had a toddler, a toddler who wanted nothing to do with her.

Part of Amelia felt that she should just be happy that she had a child and shut up. But it didn't change the fact that she still felt like there was so much she was missing. Even if it sounded crazy given how much Lina hated being pregnant and how hard her labor had been, Amelia still felt she was missing out on not getting to experience it. And then she would never have a small newborn of her own to cuddle.

She brushed back Lucia's hair and smiled at the sleeping infant, relishing in how she was not pushed away. She had a few hours before the others woke. She was going to enjoy every minute snuggling with Lina and Gourrys' bundle of joy that she could before she went back to her own family, who she was feeling less and less certain even wanted her.


	9. Chapter 9

Amelia stared at the document she had finished and felt a tsunami of mixed feelings wash over her. It was a notice of a found child, with Benny's description and the location where Zelgadis had found him. Once she gave this to her assistant it would be copied and sent to post offices throughout Seyruun to give any blood members in his family time to step forward. And Amelia wasn't sure which was worse, wishing his whole family was dead so no one would claim him, or wishing someone would step forward so they could find a child who liked her better.

Neither felt like a very just way of thinking.

Amelia sighed and handed it to her assistant, "You know what to do with that."

"Yes, Princess."

Amelia took a deep breath and tried to focus on the next bit of business, but was distracted. While Benny would play with her if Zelgadis was in the room, as soon as he left, he still wanted nothing to do with her. Add to the fact that neither she nor Zelgadis had gotten a good night's sleep since Zelgadis had brought him home, she was running on fumes, physically and emotionally. Simply concentrating on the report in front of her seemed impossible.

 _Still_ , she told herself firmly, _I shouldn't complain. At least Benny doesn't interrupt me at work. Poor Zel can't get anything done!_

* * *

"Benny, stay still and let me work!" Zelgadis snarled as he tried to write with Benny in his lap. Between angling his arm awkwardly around Benny and having his concentration constantly broken as Benny wriggled in his lap, it was impossible to get anything done! And Zelgadis was desperate to do something other than play with Benny.

He wanted his own space again. He wanted some time alone. He always craved time alone in peace and quiet with just his thoughts. And flattering as it was to be so loved that Benny never wanted to let him out of his sight, it was driving him crazy.

Zelgadis dipped his quill in the ink and awkwardly brought it to the paper, or was going to, when Benny turned and put his hand on his face, causing Zel to topple the ink bottle over. "Dammit!" he swore as he set Benny down, who instantly glommed on his leg. "If you would just leave me alone…"

Someone knocked at the door and then threw it open dramatically, and Zelgadis cringed as Gracia came in with her three boys, "Hello, Brother." She said, "I thought it was time for my boys to play with their new cousin."

But before Zelgadis could open his mouth to scream in protest Sean ran up to Benny holding a toy lizard man.

"Look!" Sean said.

"Oh wow!" Benny said in a cute little toddler voice as he ran from Zelgadis to look at it. Zelgadis stood there shocked. Benny had never voluntarily untangled himself from him before. Suddenly he felt as though Gracia was dangling forbidden fruit before him. On the one hand, he didn't want his precious Benny to be corrupted into a pint-sized terror by Gracia's children. On the other, he desperately wanted some time to himself where he wasn't entertaining Benny.

"You have it." Sean said.

"Thank you." Benny said as he took the toy and started to examine it intently.

Benny was speaking. Yes, he was speaking to a hellion who was doing everything in his power to destroy the castle, but he was speaking. Visions of Benny climbing up tapestries and knocking over curio cabinets, rambunctious but noisy, warred with him continuing to glom onto Zelgadis, well behaved, but silent.

"Wanna see a cool part of the castle?" Travis asked.

"Yeah!" Benny said.

"Let's go!" Travis said as he ran to the door, and the other boys started to follow.

Zelgadis made to get up, but Gracia put a hand on his arm, "Nanny is outside the door, let her handle it."

"But will she keep them out of trouble?" Zelgadis asked as he realized that he was not even appalled at himself for sitting back down. Here he thought he'd be super strict, but all it took was the promise of some uninterrupted time and he was willing to let Benny destroy the castle with Gracia's children if he could accomplish it!

"None of them have died yet." Gracia pointed out, "Besides, they need time away from us adults. And you need time away from them."

 _I've converted to the dark_ side, Zelgadis thought as he watched as Benny followed Gracia's children out the door, laughing and grinning the whole while.

Gracia leaned closer to him and whispered, "I know you want some time without the kid so you can go and write you great Seyruun novel about a lonely, brooding man…"

"Shut up!" Zelgadis said, "It's just for this one time!"

"Sure it is!" she said as she pulled out two bottles of wine from, well, Zelgadis wasn't sure from where she had pulled them, "Do you want red or white?"

Zelgadis stared at her for a moment, and felt the rest of his resolve crumble as he surrendered to what seemed to the inevitable. "Red."

* * *

As usual, Amelia heard her nephews before she saw them. And in this case, she had to wait quite a bit to see them as they had crawled into a passage that let them travel through the walls. Amelia was rather familiar with the passage, having navigated it herself in her youth, and with a grin she raced to the door that was the exit and beat them to it. She waited a bit, and then knocked when she heard them approach. Travis opened it, "Aunt Amelia!"

"Where is Nanny?" Amelia asked.

"Back there somewhere." He said.

"Out." Amelia directed, and the boys came spilling out, and Amelia's eyes widened as she saw that Benny was among them, his eyes dancing as he grinned mischievously. "Benny? What are you doing here?"

"Uncle Zel said it was okay." Travis said.

"Did he?" Amelia asked as she tried to wrap her mind around Zelgadis letting Benny play with her sister's children, whom he often complained of them being wildlings. _I guess he was desperate for a break_ , she thought to herself, _which means…_

Amelia grinned as she realized she finally had her chance to prove how awesome she was to Benny away from Zelgadis. "Perfect! Go find Nanny, I'll take Benny. Tell your uncle he's safe with me!"

"Okay. Bye bye!"

"Come here." Amelia said as she scooped Benny up, and he didn't protest! "We're going to get ice cream."

"Ice cream!" he yelled.

"With sprinkles!"

 _You know_ , Amelia thought _, this might just be the best day I've had in years!_

* * *

Zelgadis headed into his bedroom, and between Benny being away and the glass or two of wine, he was feeling more relaxed than he could remember. Not to mention overwhelmingly tired. There was so much he wanted to do. There was stuff he wanted to read. There was research he wanted to conduct. There were memos he wanted to draft regarding the school. Yet none of them could compare to the allure that the firm mattress and soft, large pillows covered in silky satin sheets held for him.

He climbed into bed and closed his eyes, and welcomed sleep.

* * *

Amelia felt as though she was walking on air as she carried Benny through the hallways. Sure, he was sticky from eating his ice cream cone, half of which had ended up coating his body, but for once he was happy and content to be with her. After they'd eaten their ice cream, she'd taken him to the palace playgrounds and chased him around until she finally decided that it was getting late and it was time to take him home.

"I was starting to get worried." Zelgadis said as he put his work down when Amelia came in with Benny, who moved to be put on the ground so he could run up to Zel and hug him.

"We were just having a good, justice loving time!" Amelia said.

"Good." He said, as he shook his head, "I still can't believe I did that."

"Did what?" Amelia asked.

"Let him play with Gracia's kids."

"They had a blast!" Amelia said, "And they didn't even destroy the castle."

"Still." He said as he ran a hand through his hair, "I'm supposed to be the disciplined one!'

"Hey, if you'd not let him go and have fun, I never would have had some time with him this evening!" she countered, "And that would have been the true travesty of justice!"

Zelgadis smiled a little and reached out to wrap an arm around her, "I guess you're right."

"Of course I'm right." She said. "I am one with Justice, and therefore I am always right!"

They put Benny to bed confident that they had broken new ground in forming their family. And when he awoke a few hours later Zelgadis insisted Amelia remain in bed. He'd gotten some good quality rest while Amelia had Benny. Amelia hadn't gotten some good rest in ages. So Amelia went back to sleep while Zelgadis quieted the night terrors.

Everything seemed to be going smoothly. Until the next morning when Zelgadis attempted to leave to run some errands. "Noooo!" Benny screamed as he raced to Zelgadis and threw his arms around his leg. "Don't leave me!"

"It's okay." Amelia said, "It will be just like yesterday! You and Mommy will have a lot of fun!"

"No!" Benny screamed as he continued to hold onto Zelgadis' leg.

Zelgadis looked at her, "I've got to get some stuff done today!"

"I know." Amelia said, and she grabbed Benny and pulled him off of Zelgadis, "Daddy will be back! It will be okay!"

"Love you, bye." Zelgadis said quickly as he closed the door behind him.

Benny gave a loud, wailing cry and then started to thrash against Amelia. She sat him down, and he ran to the side table where she had sat a vase of flowers and knocked them over. "Benny!" she admonished as he ran to the curtains and started to pull at them. She grabbed him, kicking and screaming the whole time, and put him in his room, where he continued to wail, but at least the damage he did was to his own stuff.

Amelia fought back against tears as she wondered why this was happening! She and Benny had had a great time the previous night! She'd thought that this would not be an issue anymore, that they had passed this hurdle.

But what if Benny just hated her, and this was the way it always would be?

* * *

Amelia knocked on Lina and Gourrys' door and walked in without waiting to be invited. Then again, considering the loud cries emanating from within, Amelia wasn't sure that they would have heard her knock anyway, "Good afternoon! How's the happy family?"

Gourry handed Lucia to Lina, who leaned back on the couch and once again silenced her cries by latching her on her breast. "Tired."

Amelia sat beside Lina, "Miss Sylphiel says that she's been eating like a champ."

"And then some. She hasn't stopped eating. It's all she does!"

Amelia smiled, "Well, that's just what I would expect from any baby of yours!"

Lina scowled, "Keep this up and I'll knock your teeth in."

"I sent the birth announcements out. I guess you're going to be taking dinner up here again?"

Lina sighed, "Yes."

"Well, Zel and I were thinking of taking dinner up here as well tonight. If you don't mind."

Lina brightened noticeably, "No, that would be nice. How is Benny doing?"

Amelia smiled warily, "Two steps forward, three steps back. I finally thought he was getting used to me a little and to like me, but this morning he threw a huge tantrum as if possessed. I honestly wanted to drop him off at someone's doorstep."

Lina smiled in solidarity. "So it's not just me."

Amelia suddenly felt her facade dissolve as she burst into tears. "At least Lucia likes you! Benny doesn't want anything to do with me! It's just hard to see the justice when I finally get a child and he hates me!"

Lina straightened, obviously taken aback. "I'm sure he doesn't hate you."

"He does!" Amelia insisted, "Every time Zel leaves he throws a fit!"

"That doesn't mean he hates you, it just means he's scared of what will happen if Zel gets out of his sight." Lina said.

"Oh," Amelia said, "I didn't think about it like that."

"And I thought I was sleep deprived." Lina said. "Look, Lucia screams her head off every time I'm not feeding her. It's not because she hates me or Gourry, but because she loves food. Try not to take it personally."

Amelia leaned back on the couch and folded her arms across her chest, "Now that I think of it, what's really not just is that no one told us how much this would suck."

Lina laughed, "Agreed."

* * *

Zelgadis gained a newfound appreciation for his sister-in-law as he learned he could get Benny off his hands easily by sending him off to play with his cousins. In fact, sending him off to play with them was the only way he would separate from Zelgadis without throwing a fit. Zelgadis quickly buried whatever qualms he had about his nephews' poor manners rubbing off on Benny for the convenience of having him out of his hair. And this had the added benefit of helping Amelia and Benny grow closer together as she would pick him up later in the day and play with him before taking him home to Zelgadis.

With time Benny started to trust her as much as he did Zelgadis, and the first day that he threw a tantrum when Amelia tried to leave, she was so thrilled she canceled her meeting just to spend more time with him.

Things were going so well that Amelia gradually felt her worries and fears receded, even as a new one took their place.

"Come on, Zel, it's just one ball." She said.

"I told you," he replied steadily, "I don't want my royal duties anymore. That means no more balls."

"But this is an important one! I can't be the only one there without my husband!"

"You can, you just don't want to." He replied as he kept his nose in his book.

"Please, Zel! It would be a great injustice if you didn't go!"

He closed his book shut, "Just like the pink memos?"

"No one will be talking about those!" she declared.

"I don't care!" he snapped, "You took no action against the people who slandered me so vilely, yet you want me to play nice with them at this ball? Your sense of justice is off!"

"Being just means being the better person!" Amelia insisted.

Zelgadis laughed sardonically, "Keep telling yourself that!"

Amelia grew red as she screamed, "If you really cared about Justice and me you would go to the ball with me!"

Zelgadis shook his head and picked up his book, causing her to jump on the coffee table and punch one fist in the air as she cried, "A man of justice never lets his wife go to a ball by herself!"

Zelgadis yawned as he turned the page. He learned long ago the best thing to do was to just ignore her until she got it out of her system.

Amelia felt as though her head was going to explode as she jumped to the back of the couch as pointed at him, "I know the fire of justice burns within you and you will take me to the ball!"

But Zelgadis continued to ignore with practiced skill as she continued gesticulating wildly while screaming about justice and balls. Finally seeing that this time he would not be moved, she left to cool down at Lina's, who was packing for the trip back to Zefiel City.

"Give him time." Lina said as she folded shirts while Amelia held Lucia. "Even with all this embarrassment he's still here, which says a lot. I think you can go by yourself to one ball."

"It's not just one ball, it's the biggest ball of the year. And besides, people are already talking because he's never seen with me at any official functions anymore."

"So?" Lina said.

 _Commoners!_ Amelia thought to herself but managed to avoid saying, _they just don't understand these things!_

When Amelia spoke, it was the more diplomatic, "As unjust as it may sound, a lot of being a royal is about appearances."

"Well, break the mold." Lina said.

Amelia looked at her sideways, "You're my best friend. You're supposed to take my side when I complain about my husband."

"Oh, sorry." Lina said, "Yes, bad, evil Zelgadis for not wanting to go to a boring ball with people who I would have Dragon Slaved if they had spread those rumors about me. How dare he make you look bad! There, happy?"

Amelia's eyes narrowed, "Sarcasm isn't just."

Lina closed her suitcase and looked around the room, "I swear that baby sucked the smarts right out of me. I think I'm forgetting something."

"You're not leaving until tomorrow. You'll have time to remember." Amelia said, "I'm going to miss you."

"Me too." Lina said.

"The palace will be so empty."

"Empty, with all these people still here?" Lina said with a laugh.

"Though," Amelia said as an idea occurred to her, "I guess Zel and I could get away…"

* * *

The week after Lina and Gourry departed Seyruun with their baby, Zelgadis, Amelia and Benny retreated to Tealblu for a break from the court and palace life and to bond with their son. Their first day there was beautiful, and the lake was beckoning, so they dressed in their swimsuits and headed down for a swim.

Benny shrieked with delight as he entered the water with Amelia, and Amelia felt her heart lift. He was finally starting to feel like hers! "Catch!" Amelia said as she tossed him the short distance to Zelgadis, who held him as he attempted to swim.

Amelia splashed them, and Zelgadis grinned, "We got to get Mommy back!"

Benny laughed as he started to splash her, but then Zelgadis shifted awkwardly in the water and dropped Benny. Amelia's reflexes kicked in and she grabbed him and brought him up to the surface. "Mommy!" Benny yelped as he clung to her, and Amelia felt her stomach flip.

Mommy. It was the first time anyone had ever called her that.

She looked at Zelgadis and smiled broadly, which he returned. Then she said, "Justice demands we get Daddy back!"

Benny laughed and splashed Zelgadis. By the time they got out of the lake they were in buoyant moods, not to mention hungry. Yet Amelia was perturbed as she noticed her father's carriage outside of their house. "Why would Daddy be here? We just left."

Zelgadis narrowed his eyes as he noticed the carriage. "That's a good question."

It was as though a dark cloud had suddenly materialized over them. While usually Amelia enjoyed seeing her father, they had made it clear to everyone that they wanted Benny to themselves for one week before they entertained visitors. They nervously walked up to the house and entered and found Phil seated in the parlor. He stood up as they came in, and from the look on his face confirmed that he bore bad news. "What is it?" she asked as she ran to him.

He hugged her supportively, and then held her at arm's length, "There's no way to say this that won't hurt. Two people claiming to be Benny's aunt and uncle have come forward. You'll have to come back to court straight away."


	10. Chapter 10

_Justice will triumph_. Amelia told herself as she sat in the carriage watching Benny as he slept curled up to Zelgadis. _Just keep telling yourself that._

She struggled with tears as they drew closer to the palace. All of her life she had told herself that no matter what she was going through justice would triumph in the end. She wore the words as an emotional security blanket, born from a need to exert some sense of control to her life after her mother was murdered. If she ever tried to think about it logically she quickly gave it up, because the inevitable conclusion was that if her mother was a just person and the universe was a just place, then she never would have been murdered. Yet logic never fit into it. Heroes of justice are protected, and justice always triumphs.

But thinking in terms of such rigid absolutes did little to guide her in this suddenly grey toned world she found herself in.

A just person would hope that Benny had loving family members out there.

A just person would not wish for Benny's entire family to be dead.

A just person would hope that Benny could find happiness with his family.

Yet there she was, hoping that this was a mistake, or a trick, or a mistake.

She was not thinking like a just person. Which made her wonder if the reason she did not have a child of her own was the universe's way of punishing her for harboring such evil thoughts. She closed her eyes and steeled herself against going down such a path and told herself once again, justice will triumph.

* * *

The man in the room had blonde hair and green eyes and bore a faint resemblance to Benny, none of which Amelia or Zelgadis could claim. Amelia had not liked to think about Benny's parents. But now that she was face to face with people claiming to be his relatives, it was unavoidable. Benny had real parents. Parents who looked like him. Just like Benny's uncle did.

"Benny!" he cried as soon as they walked through the door. He ran to Benny and reached his arms out, but Benny backed away, closer to her and Zelgadis, and Amelia felt a moment of triumph as she smiled. And then she instantly castigated herself for the unjustness of the feeling. Amelia put an arm around Benny as the man wiped tears from his eyes. "It's me, your Uncle Gene." He said, and then he smiled as his wife came up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder. Amelia felt her breath leave her as she realized that the woman was pregnant, "And this is your Aunt Winnie. He probably doesn't remember me. He was just a little baby when we last saw him."

"Oh." Amelia said quietly, and then her royal training started to kick in, "Won't you have a seat?"

"Thanks," Winnie said as the group seated themselves on the couches, "And thank you so much for rescuing him and caring for him. When we heard about the attack we just assumed the worst, that no one had survived."

"We held a service for her sister and her family at our temple even." Gene said reverently.

"So when Manus Koff tracked us down…"

"Who?" Zelgadis sputtered.

"Manus Koff." Winnie said and Amelia felt her ire rise, as well as her suspicions, "He said he was tasked with finding the family members of the survivors."

Amelia stared at Zelgadis in shock, and saw that he was staring at Winnie in horror. Neither Winnie nor Gene seemed to notice as Winnie commented, "Benny looks so much like Gene's sister."

"It's just good to know that there's something left of her." Gene said as he wiped continued to wipe tears from his eyes. Was it an act? If it was, it was an unsettlingly good one. Gene and Winnie seemed like genuinely good people.

"What proof do you have that you are his blood relation?" Zelgadis asked stiffly. Amelia wished she could read Zelgadis' mind.

"Of course," Gene said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a stack of papers, "This is the record of my birth in Esouh. Manus Koff brought this to me. He raided the temple archives to track me down." Gene handed the record to Amelia, and then pulled out another one, "Eileen Baker was my sister, and you can see we were born in the same family. And here is my sister's marriage certificate to Bartholomew, and here's the record of Benedict's birth. Oh, and here are my papers, proving I am who I say I am."

Amelia looked numbly at the official seals. She wondered if Manus Koff had forged them. At the same time, it would be far safer for Koff if Gene really was related to Benny, because then Amelia would not be able to retaliate against him and for it to be considered just. He could honestly claim he was merely trying to reunite the family. Tracking down blood relatives to claim Benny would be the best revenge, because technically, he wouldn't even have done something wrong.

Amelia felt the dissonance within her rise again as her neat and tidy view of justice cracked and strained.

Zelgadis scrutinized the papers closely as Benny curled up next to him. Finally he said with a resigned air, "I suppose you'll be wanting to take him home."

Winnie put her hands on her stomach as a hardened look crossed her face while Gene shook his head, "Winnie is a bit overwhelmed right now. We have twins at home, they're with Winnie's parent's now, and the healers say we're having twins again. Manus offered us some financial assistance, but we're doing good enough that we don't need money. No, it's time we're pressed for. We'll manage I guess. I can't let him languish in an orphanage."

"Oh, we would never let that happen!" Amelia exclaimed, "We were planning on adopting him actually!"

Stunned silence followed her words, and Amelia felt her insides curl up as she worried that she had blown their chances by throwing down all of her cards at once. Winnie looked at Gene and then back at them. "Really? You wanted to adopt a commoner?"

"Noble blood doesn't matter." Amelia said, "I married a commoner."

Winnie and Gene looked at Zelgadis, and Amelia felt her anxiety peak. What if they let their prejudice over his chimerical nature influence their decision? "Of course." Winnie said, and then she turned to her husband, "Oh Gene, I think we should let them. He would grow up in a palace, have an education, and be spoiled. We have so many children he'd get lost in the hustle and bustle."

"I don't know." Gene muttered, "He's my nephew."

"Well, you were never planning on raising him, were you? You expected Eileen and Bart to do that." Winnie asked. "I'm sure they'll let you visit as often as you want."

"Of course!" Amelia said, trying to keep the desperation in her voice to a minimum.

"Pardon me, Princess. I don't want to be impudent." Gene said, "But royals tend to hire nannies…"

"We can show you our chambers." Amelia said and she hoped that Zelgadis wouldn't object to her proposal to throw away their privacy in order to appease two strangers to prove their innocence. Innocence for something that was not even a crime in the first place. "We don't have a nanny for him."

Amelia relaxed as Zelgadis nodded.

"I'd hate to intrude…" Gene began.

"We insist." Zelgadis pressed.

* * *

Gene looked into the empty room beside Benny's that was reserved for a nanny, and Zelgadis tried not to bristle too much. He hated the intrusion into his privacy. He hated having to prove to someone that he would be a good father to a child who Zelgadis already considered to be his son. And besides, why didn't Gene have to prove he was fit to be a parent? Blood wasn't exactly the best requirement!

Still, if it meant he would get to adopt Benny, he would endure it.

Gene finally seemed satisfied that there was no nanny and came back into Benny's room, crowded with toys. "Never in a million years would we be able to afford all this for him." Gene said.

"It is a beautiful room." Winnie gushed as she looked around.

"Possessions aren't everything." Gene pointed out.

"Rest assured, Mr. Gene, we love Benny deeply. We feel like he is our son." Amelia said.

Zelgadis noticed how Gene looked at him, and he knew exactly what the other man was thinking. Gene was wondering if a creature like him could even feel love. Benny came up and wrapped his arm around his leg, and Zelgadis patted him on the back. He hated feeling like he was giving a command performance, but when Benny asked him to play, Zelgadis did his best to see that he was the most paternal he could be so he could shatter every prejudice he was sure that Gene harbored.

"I'll have to think about it." Gene said.

Zelgadis bit his lip as Amelia said, "How long until you know?"

"We can't be away from home too long." Winnie said sharply.

Gene nodded, "Three days."

* * *

Amelia and Zelgadis got into bed quietly sure of the fact that at least Benny would not wake them in the dead of the night. By now Benny was sleeping well through the night. They had stayed up with him and sacrificed their sleep during the hard months after he had been traumatized and had been present to comfort every nightmare and somehow form family bonds with him. And now he might be cruelly torn away to go with a family who had never made such sacrifices.

To a family who already had more children than they felt they could managed and who didn't even want Benny like they wanted him. Still, Amelia had to admit, the situation was better than it had appeared during the carriage ride. Benny's family could still be living and they could still keep him. Now, there was hope, and a path ahead that seemed just.

Amelia sighed. She kept waiting for Zelgadis to launch a litany of complaints about this intrusion into his personal life. But for once he was quiet. Cautiously she curled up next to him, half expecting him to turn her away like he tended to do when he was crushed. But that evening he wrapped an arm around her and kissed her gently on the crown of her head.

"It's going to be a long three days." He said.

"But justice will triumph." Amelia said.

He chuckled a bit. "You sure about that?"

"Positive."

* * *

 **AN: OK, the story I thought I had planned out was not what I ended up with when I set out to write this chapter. Now that that is all worked out, I am hoping to wrap this up in the next two chapters, and soon!**


	11. Chapter 11

Zelgadis was not used to giving a damn about what others thought of him or about seeking the approval of others. So having a picnic with Gene and Winnie the next day was unaccustomedly nerve wracking. While Zel usually paid no mind to what people thought of his parenting, now he was unnaturally sensitive to every glance that Gene threw at him as he found himself second guessing every move he made with Benny as they ate a picnic lunch in the palace gardens.

Was he being too strict when he insisted Benny eat his carrots? Or was he too lenient when he eventually gave in and let Benny eat his cookies after struggling unsuccessfully with carrot eating to the point where Benny was in tears? Was he being overprotective when he insisted Benny stay within ten feet of him, or too careless when Benny ended up pushing the boundary a bit further than that? Was he wrong to raise his voice when Benny wasn't paying attention to where he was going and nearly ran into a post, or should he have given him a full out scolding for not paying attention?

Zelgadis knew what he would do under each of those circumstances unwatched, and that he never would have second guessed himself if he hadn't been watched. Yet one thing his brief time as a parent had taught him was that everyone's definition of too strict and too lenient seemed to change. What if Gene was watching him, thinking he was a miserable excuse for a parent and that there was no way he would leave Benny with him?

As they finished eating Zelgadis found himself wishing that Gene and Winnie would decide to explore Seyruun on their own or spend time away from them so he could be with Benny without constantly feeling on guard. He ended up getting half of what he wanted. As they wrapped up Gene said casually, "I'd like to spend some time alone with my nephew."

Amelia and Zelgadis looked at each other, and Zel knew she was thinking the same thing he was. What if they took Benny and never returned with him?

"Look, it's hard for me to get to know him with you two around." Gene pointed out when he noticed their reaction, and given that Benny was currently wrapped around Zelgadis' leg, he did have to admit that Gene had a point.

"Of course." Amelia finally said diplomatically. What choice did they have? "What time will you be back?"

"Oh, late afternoon. Don't worry, we won't keep him out too late." Gene assured her.

Amelia put on one of her formal smiles, "Have fun, then!"

Zelgadis reached down to pick Benny up and toss him in the air before setting him down in front of Gene and Winnie, "Hey kiddo, you get to spend some time with your uncle for a bit! I'll see you tonight."

"You come too?" Benny asked.

"Sorry, just you and Uncle Gene and Aunt Winnie for the day." Zelgadis explained.

"No!" Benny cried as he clutched Zel, and Zel had to smile in satisfaction as he saw the look of shock on Gene's face, "I want you to come too!"

"Come on, we'll have lots of fun!" Gene said as he attempted to scoop up Benny, who screamed and wrapped himself even more tightly around Zelgadis.

Needless to say, it was the first time Zel appreciated one of Benny's tantrums.

* * *

Eventually they managed to pry Benny from Zel. And as Gene was holding him, asking them to go while Winnie watched looking exhausted and annoyed, Zelgadis hoped that Gene felt like a kidnapper. Now at his apartments with Amelia, Zelgadis stood at the window and hoped that they were having a miserable time, that Gene would decide that Benny was not worth the effort, that Winnie would put her foot down, that this nonsense about Gene leaving with Benny would end tonight when they brought him home.

If they brought him home.

It was so quiet now without Benny. Zelgadis sighed as he stared out of the window nervously, reflecting that for the first time in his life he was wondering how he would ever get used to the quiet. Usually breaks from Benny were times to rejuvenate as he tried to figure out which of the things he seldom had time for anymore to tackle. But today he just couldn't focus on any of those. His fears that Benny would never be returned were too overwhelming. And least he thought he was overreacting, Amelia lay in bed in the next room in a fit of nerves.

When he heard footsteps approach the hallway, he raced to the door, and opened it barely after they knocked. Gene was holding Benny who looked…happy. Way too happy. Happier than Benny should be with Gene. Zelgadis couldn't help but feel a bit betrayed.

"He calmed down as soon as you two got out of sight." Gene explained as he handed Benny over when he reached for Zelgadis. "You know how kids are. We had a great time!"

"Good." Zelgadis said stiffly as he felt Gene was reproving him a bit for hovering over Benny too much as he heard Amelia exit the bedroom and run to Benny.

"We'll see you at breakfast tomorrow." Gene said.

"We look forward to it." Amelia lied.

* * *

Amelia listened courteously as Gene listed his plans for the day as she forced the food into her mouth without really tasting it. As a royal princess, she simply was not used to someone else having so much say over her life. When she wanted something, she got it. But now, here she was groveling to a near stranger for her son.

Of course, given her position she could use her power and influence to take what she wanted. She could slander Gene as a drunkard and a child abuser and worshipper of Shabranigdo. She could go to a judge friendly to her to decide who Benny should reside with. She could just banish Gene and Winnie from Seyruun and never have to worry about them again. But none of those things would be the action of a just person.

Oh, stupid, rotten justice!

Amelia looked distastefully at her porridge as Gene said, "So I'd like to get an idea of what your day is like so I can know what Benny's typical day will be. So, Benny, what do you do after breakfast?"

"I play!" Benny said brightly.

"Who do you play with?" Gene asked.

"Sean and Travis and Eddie and Nanny." Benny said.

Amelia dropped her spoon as she saw the look on Gene's face. "Nanny?" he said, and then he stared at them accusingly, "But you said there was no nanny!"

"She's not ours!" Amelia insisted, "Sean, Travis and Eddie are my nephews, and they have a nanny who watches them, and Benny when he is with them. But Benny does not have his own nanny. The only time he's with her is when he's playing with them!"

"Which, I suppose, is twenty hours a day while you tend to the luxuries of royal life and leave the hard work to the paid help!" Gene roared.

"Gene, calm down." Winnie begged, "Remember who we're speaking to!"

Indeed, Amelia felt an unusual rage sweep through her. Why the hell did she have to justify herself to him? Indeed, Amelia never felt as close to putting someone in the dungeon for impertinence as she did now! Her father had always counseled against it. Doing so created tyrants and led people to rule through fear, which was a travesty of justice. All the same, Gene was out of line, and it would be a convenient excuse to get him out of the way while they laid the ground work for taking Benny.

"So do you and Winnie watch your girls twenty four seven without a break?" Zelgadis asked, "Because it seems as though you abandoned them to their grandparents for days while you tracked Benny down."

Gene turned red, "Their grandparents are blood, not paid help! It's completely different! I've seen enough, this has all been a farce! I'm taking Benny now!"

Benny looked pale as he looked at each of the adults. Amelia wasn't sure he understood what was happening, but the malice in the air was thick. Zelgadis moved between Gene and the door as he said, "You never wanted to give us a fair chance! You were looking for something, anything to use against us!"

"I have high standards for who I leave my kin with!" Gene charged back as he grabbed Benny, "Let's go."

Benny started to shriek. "Please don't!" Amelia begged.

"Out of our way!" Gene said as he held a struggling Benny to him, "Or is all of your talk about being a justice loving monarch just talk?"

Amelia dissolved into tears. Zelgadis glared at Gene, but then got out of the way to wrap an arm around Amelia. They did not watch as Gene fled out of the room with Benny. Winnie stopped for a moment and looked at them, "I'll talk to him." And then she too disappeared as Benny's screams resonated through the halls.

Neither of them said anything for a long time. And when Zelgadis did speak, it was bitterly, "I never should have let him leave with him."

Amelia's eyes, meanwhile, set, "This isn't over yet."

* * *

The first thing Amelia did was send word to the guards that Gene and Winnie were not allowed to leave with Benny until the documents of their relation to him were verified. Then she sent a page to them to gather the documents to take them to a judge to validate their authenticity. While Amelia felt that they were valid, her purpose was more in delaying them and buying time for Gene to change his mind than to uncover a conspiracy that did not exist.

Then Amelia and Zelgadis went down to the library and started to scour the books for a legal precedent where a child was given to adoptive parents over a blood relative, preferably a case involving peasants. Amelia tried to ignore how scummy she felt as she did this. Still, in her heart she knew that the best place for Benny was with her and Zelgadis, and that having him get used to a new family would just traumatize him further. So she read.

They read into the night as their eyes grew red rimmed and bleary. Still, they could not give into despair yet. And if this did not end in their favor, they weren't going to give up without being able to tell Benny they did everything in their power to get him back.

The sun was rising in the horizon, bestowing a warm glow in the library when Sylphiel walked in. "Miss Amelia, Mr. Zelgadis, I finally found you!"

Zelgadis and Amelia braced themselves, "What is it?" Amelia asked as she stood in alarm, "They didn't leave with Benny, did they?"

"No, no, Benny is still here." She assured them as she walked up to their table and took a seat, "When I came in to the temple to do my rounds this morning I learned that Winnie's water broke last night. She wasn't expecting to have her babies until another two months, but they arrived early this morning."

Amelia felt her heart pound. "Is everyone okay?"

"Winnie is fine. She's a bit overwhelmed, naturally. They were expecting twins, but it turns out there was a third one in there that went undetected until the birth. All three are alive, but you know how it is with babies born this early. They have a long road ahead."

Amelia felt a strange mix of emotions. Jealousy that Winnie had just had three new babies and may still take Benny from her. And hope. Winnie was already reluctant to take Benny. Surely with three pre-term babies to care for dealing with him would be one child too many! "Are they still wanting Benny?" Zelgadis asked.

Sylphiel bit her lip, "If it was up to Winnie he would have gone back to you last night. Gene wasn't with there when they were born because he was taking care of him. They don't have any friends or family here to help them, so Winnie had no one she knew with her during her labor. Saying that she's a bit upset with him right now is a bit of an understatement. Gene insists that they can manage, I think the grief he feels over his sister's death is so great that it's preventing him from seeing things clearly. I must say, even people with twins are overwhelmed without the help of family. I just can't imagine tackling all that they are on their own!"

"Any chance that they'll try to leave?" Zelgadis asked.

"They can't. The triplets aren't strong enough to travel. While it is a risk that parents sometimes abandon babies in these instances, especially since a wet nurse will be needed because even if Winnie wanted to there's no way she could nurse them all, Winnie is set against it and won't hear of leaving without them."

Amelia gasped. Sylphiel and Zelgadis looked at her. "What?"

"I have an idea!"

* * *

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Zelgadis snapped at Amelia as they walked down the hallway, trailed by a wet nurse.

"Positive." Amelia said. "Gene and Winnie are overburdened. We're going to do everything we can to help them and prove to them that we are good people."

Zelgadis shook his head, "That will do no good when Gene has his mind set against us! Better to let them fail and see that there is no way they can do this on their own, especially when they reunite with their other two."

"And let Benny suffer in the meantime?" Amelia asked.

"It's better than hanging around them all the time and giving Gene more ammo to use against us!" Zelgadis countered.

"Trust me!" Amelia said as they reached the temple where the healing rooms were.

Zelgadis sighed in annoyance, but managed to reign it in when they walked into the temple. He watched as Amelia asked for directions for where Winnie and Gene were as he shifted a box in his hands. Then he followed her quietly, hoping that trusting her would be the right choice.

When they walked in Winnie was sitting up in bed with three babies cocooned around her chest. Gene was sitting with Benny, who screeched, "Mommy! Daddy!" when he saw Zel and Amelia and ran to them.

"Get back here!" Gene scolded.

"Gene." Winnie snapped.

"Hey kiddo." Zelgadis said as he sat the box down and knelt to hug him.

"What are you doing here?" Gene asked pointedly.

"We heard about your arrivals." Amelia said, "And we wanted to offer our congratulations and to bestow some gifts upon you."

"We don't need your charity." Gene said.

"It's rude to refuse gifts from royals!" Winnie rushed in, "Forgive him. It's been a long night. We will happily accept your gifts."

Amelia reigned in her annoyance with Gene as she silently thanked Winnie, "The first gift is Nan's service. She nursed the three royal sons of Crowned Princess Gracia and they are now strong and thriving. I have paid for her services to assist you."

Gene opened his mouth to protest, but Winnie cut in, "Thank you so much, Princess."

"Winnie…"

Amelia smiled. By accepting Nan, Gene would be in the position of putting his children in the hands of a paid caretaker, making his grounds for taking Benny because of Gracia's nanny rather flimsy. Winnie glared at him, "I only have two breasts! I can't feed all three of them! Do I need to get Sylphiel in here to explain it to you again?"

"We can even provide another wet nurse if need be, to lessen the burden on you." Amelia offered.

"Thank you." Gene said curtly, "Winnie can manage." After a few moments he added, "With Nan."

"I'll let you know if I need help." Winnie said courteously, and then she looked at Nan, "Please take this one. He's having difficultly latching."

"What are you calling him?"

"Tre for now." Winnie said with a laugh. "We thought we'd have a few more months to figure out names."

"Our second gift." Amelia said, as Benny starting pulling on her and Zel's hands in an attempt to drag them to the door, which made Gene turn red with silent indignation, "Is a set of diapers, linens, swaddling blankets, and clothing to clothe and shelter your new bundles."

Zelgadis lifted the box a little, "Where should I set this?"

"Set it there. Thank you so much. I can't tell you how much this means to us. We have no supplies here whatsoever." Winnie said emphatically as if making up for her husband's rudeness.

"Please let us know what else we can do." Amelia said, and then Zelgadis had to stifle a laugh as she said, "Would you like for us to pay for your twin daughter's travel expenses so you can all be together?"

"I do hate to be away from them for so long." Winnie said as Zelgadis hoped they would say yes. He so wanted to see them manage six children, three of them preemies, one a traumatized toddler, on their own! And then watch as they came begging at his doorstep for forgiveness! "But I don't know how we'll manage all six of them. Perhaps if…"

"We'll get back to you on that." Gene snapped, cutting her off.

Benny asked to be picked up, and Zelgadis did so, and this time Gene sent him a look of resignation as Amelia finished, "Once again, the kingdom of Seyruun offers its congratulations on your new arrivals. Please let us know what we can do to help. We shall leave you alone now to bond with your new family."

"I go with you!" Benny said.

Gene opened his mouth to protest, but Winnie jumped in, "That would be wonderful! He's so bored here."

"Winnie!" Gene protested.

"Just bring him to the apartments when it's time for bed." Winnie instructed, and Zelgadis couldn't help but note she was leaving Gene to deal with his night terrors, which had likely resurged after being taken from Zelgadis and Amelia, on his own while she stayed in the temple with the babies. Smart move, Winnie.

As they walked out of the temple with Benny bouncing merrily beside them, Amelia turned to Zelgadis and smiled. "See?"

* * *

The next few months passed by in a blur of activity. Every day Amelia and Zelgadis went by the temple to help Winnie with the triplets. They'd stay for a few hours as, with three babies and a toddler, there was always plenty to help out with, and often leave with Benny, and return him to Gene in the evening, who looked increasingly haggard and tired as the weeks dragged on. And when the triplets were strong enough to leave the temple (though not to travel), they visited Winnie and Gene in their apartments, taking a perverse satisfaction in how overwhelmed the couple seemed. Even with the addition of a second wet nurse.

And with the arrival of their toddler twin daughters around the corner, Zelgadis and Amelia were certain that soon, when they brought Benny to them for the evening, Gene would beg them to take him for the night.

"I'll say, it is nice getting to help Winnie with her babies so much!" Amelia commented as they walked to Winnie and Gene's apartment one morning, "I've never gotten to spend so much time with little babies before, not even my nephews."

"It is a bit nice." Zelgadis said, "Still, I won't feel comfortable until…"

Suddenly they heard Winnie screaming hysterically from the apartment. Zelgadis and Amelia looked at each other, and Amelia grabbed his hand for a moment, "Whatever it is, you'll have to cover for me. Aunt Flo is here."

He nodded, and they rushed into the apartments without knocking and found Winnie screaming hysterically as she held Tre, who was a bad shade of blue. Gene and the midwives rushed over to see what was happening and Zelgadis felt taken aback. When there was trouble he was so used to it being in the form of demons and mazoku that this was the last thing he was expecting!

"Stand aside!" Amelia ordered as she made her way through the small crowd, "Let me have him."

Winnie handed him over as she stuttered, "I'd just put him down for a second and when I went to check on him…"

Amelia put her head to the infant's chest and then laid him on the floor and used two fingers to start doing compressions. "Zel, I need you to do a modified Mono Volt to restart his heart."

He listened as she gave him the variation on the familiar spell and then knelt down beside her and cast it. The little body jerked alarmingly, but then he started to sputter and cry. A collective sigh of relief went through the room, and Zelgadis scooped the baby up and handed him to Winnie, who continued to cry as she held him while Gene wrapped an arm around his wife and son as he cried in relief.

"Let's get him to the temple and have him looked at." Amelia said.

"Thank you." Winnie said as she nodded.

* * *

Zelgadis was mildly surprised when Winnie and Gene came to their chambers later in the day to talk. Not to mention hopeful. As usual, Amelia insisted that everyone be seated and that tea and cookies were doled out before the matter at hand was discussed. And while it was frustrating, Zelgadis had to admit, there was something that was becoming soothing about the ritual, and starting a conversation this way had a way of breaking the awkwardness and tension that arose when he met with certain people.

When everyone was comfortable and Amelia had finally asked what had brought them here, Gene looked them in the eye and said, "I wanted to apologize for misjudging you."

Amelia grabbed Zelgadis' hand as Gene continued, "I felt so guilty for not being there to help my sister and my parents when the town was attacked. I thought, perhaps if I'd never left home I could have saved them. We'll never know if I could have, but it was hard for me to let go of Benny without feeling like I was betraying Eileen. Even if I left him with the best of people, they wouldn't have the same instincts for what to do if something went wrong like I would have. It wasn't rational, but it's what I was thinking."

"It's understandable." Amelia offered.

Gene sighed, "After this morning, though, I see that there is no better place for Benny to be with than with you."

Zelgadis slumped forward in relief as Amelia started to cry. "I'm sorry." She said as Winnie reached out and patted her knee, "This has just been such a long ordeal."

"It's okay, Princess." Winnie said.

"So he gets to stay with us for the night?" Zelgadis said.

"Every night." Gene said. "I'm ready to sign the papers giving you custody."

Amelia rang for an aide, "I'll get those drawn up right now!"

"There's more." Winnie said.

"Oh?" Amelia asked nervously.

Gene smiled sheepishly, "While we joked that the names Prima, Secunda and Tre were going to stick around as we've gone this long without naming the triplets, well, we always knew that Prima was going to be named for Eileen. Secunda and Tre we were stuck on, though. After this morning, Winnie and I decided on names for them and we wanted you two to be the first to know that we're going to call them Amelia and Zelgadis."

Zelgadis felt his mouth drop. He'd never had someone name a child after him! Amelia, as a popular royal princess, was used to it. But him? "We can't give you much," Gene said, "Especially after what you've given to us, but we thought this would be a good way to honor you for saving our son's life."

"We are honored." Amelia replied as Zel felt at a loss for words. For years he'd waited for the people of Seyruun to see who he was behind the myth of the pitiful creature Amelia had married out of sympathy or the evil chimera waiting to corrupt her goodness. He thought it would never happen, but finally, it was.

"We were also hoping," Winnie said, "That you would honor us by being their godparents."

Zelgadis was glad that Amelia could speak for them, because his voice was still missing in action as she said, "Of course."

Zelgadis grasped Amelia's hands as they stared at Gene and Winnie as the realization that they were not just gaining a son, but a whole extended family dawned on them. Amelia, Zel reflected, was right. Sometimes all you have to do is kill someone with kindness for things to work out.


	12. Epilogue

The statue of Ceiphied was polished to a warm glow as it watched over the ceremony being conducted within the temple that morning. The Royal Crest of the Holy Kingdom of Seyruun was prominently displayed in banners around the walls, and the scent of lilies and forget me nots warred with the musky scents of incense being burned. The pews were packed with nobles and dignitaries, including Amelia's family sitting prominently in the front row. Not everyone who was invited could attend. Though Amelia had expressly invited him, Manus Koff had not managed to find the time to come down. More heart breaking to Amelia was that Lina and Gourry hadn't been able to make it. While they had intended to come down, Lucia had fallen ill with the flu and they had to change their plans and stay in Zefiel City at the last minute.

Still, their absence could not ruin this much awaited day. Finally, Benny was becoming their child. Given how long and twisty the road had been, the weeks leading up to those moment had been filled with anxiety over everything that could go wrong. Yet now that the music had stated and Benny, dressed in full robes, was being walked down to the altar and escorted by Gene and Winnie, Amelia was certain that everything would be fine. Especially as Zelgadis grabbed her hand and stood with her before the crowd.

"Gotcha to attend another royal function." She whispered to him.

"It's just this once." He whispered back.

She squeezed his hand, "If you can do this more in public, then it really doesn't matter to me if you come to every ball with me or not."

He smiled, "I'll remember that." And then he brought her hand up to kiss it.

Amelia felt her heart jump into her throat and struggled to maintain her composure. Soon Gene and Winnie arrived at the altar with Benny, who seemed a bit stunned by all of the attention. Still, he stood quietly just like they had practice as the priest asked, "Who entrusts the care of this child to this couple?"

"I, his uncle, does." Gene projected confidently to the room. "Let the record show that I have no doubt that he will be brought up with love and care in the hands of the Royal Princess Amelia and her husband, Duke Zelgadis, as my sister would have wanted."

Amelia felt tears well up as she reached out to hug him and then Winnie, and then Gene went and placed Benny's hand in hers, and his other hand in Zel's. Benny looked at them and beamed, and Amelia felt that any critics of a chimera adopting a child would be instantly silenced by his glow.

The priest looked at them and then he intoned, "For the first three years of his life, Benedict Baker was raised with love and guidance by his birth parents, Bartholomew and Eileen Baker. When tragedy befell the town of Esouh and Bartholomew and Eileen lost their lives, Zelgadis and Amelia were ready to step in and continue to bestow the love and guidance to Benedict that Bartholomew and Eileen could no longer provide. From this moment forward, Benedict will now be the son of Zelgadis and Amelia de Seyruun as well as Bartholomew and Eileen Baker."

Zelgadis took a deep breath as the weight of the moment fell upon him. He was about to become a father, and provide to Amelia what she so desperately desired but thought she had given up by marrying him. He could no longer waste time worrying about being enough for her or providing her with what she wanted. There was a child now who needed them both, and he would have to stop worrying about what he couldn't provide and start focusing on what he could. Even if it meant putting up with the annoyances and intrusions of the royal court. Somehow he had realized that Amelia and Benny were giving him more than he was sacrificing with their unconditional love. He was going to have to start to extend that same love and regard to them.

The priest looked at them and asked, "Amelia and Zelgadis, do you promise to take Benedict as your son and to raise him in the ways of justice, peace and love?"

"We do." They said together.

"Then in the eyes of Seyruun and the eyes of Ceiphied, you are now family."

The temple erupted in applause, and Amelia wiped away tears as the priest set a document on the table for them to sign to formalize the adoption in ink. Amelia gave it her signature, and handed the quill to Zel. She noticed his hand was shaking so much that his writing was sloppier than usual. "We're going to get this framed." He said.

"I know the perfect place for it." Amelia said in agreement as Benny wrapped his arms around her.

Zelgadis grabbed her hand, and the three of them walked down the aisle and headed to the ballroom which was already laden with food, bands, and children's activities for their first party together as a family.


End file.
